hello nala.

i love dogs. 

anyone that knows me, knows i LOVE, love, love dogs. i really don't understand how anyone couldn't? 

well my story beings saturday night. i was hanging out around the hale (dorm) with some people. here in hawaii everything is very open since a lot of stuff isn't air conditioned. a lot of classrooms have courtyards and all the hales do as well. so it's very easy for animals to roam around. well i look outside of my friends door and there is a darling dog standing there looking at me with the sweetest look. of course i sprang over to that sweetheart and started petting and loving it. as i was doing so other girls passed commenting "ew." and other mean comments b.c they didn't want the dog near them.

RUDE.

i can not stand people that aren't kind to animals. 

what if i walked past that girl and said EWWW when i walked passed her? i'm sure she wouldn't be too happy with that comment. dogs have ears! they can hear what you say. they have feelings. a;sdfja;lsdkjfal;ksjdf 

any ways... so as we were leaving this darling puppy followed us out. i didn't know what to do because i wanted to take care of her. she was really skinny and you could tell she needed a home :( thank goodness, these two boys near me walked over to her and took her back to their house to give her a meal. i thanked them multiple times and i am forever grateful that they have a heart. 

next day (sunday) i went to church and when walking back i walked through the gate of my house and the same dog was sitting right outside of my door!!!! she found me, all the way off campus! she knew that i loved her and that i would take care of her and she found me!! :) i spent the day feeding her, loving her, playing with her, and cuddling with her. it was fabulous! i named her Nala. it just came to me! she is the sweetest! she stayed the night outside and this morning she was still there, but when one of my roommates left for class nala followed her back to campus /: i was really worried about her because i didn't want her to get hit by a car, or get sent to the pound. well, during my first class (art), we were outside drawing and all of a sudden i heard some of my classmates go "aww" i turned around and it was her!!! i yelled NALA!!!! i was so happy! my art teacher asked me about how i knew her and i continued to tell him and my class the story, they all laughed about my love for her. i don't get why people are amused? i think everyone should love dogs as much as i do. but i couldn't leave my class to take care of her :( so she wandered off and i just had to sit there and watch :( after class i biked all around campus looking for her but i haven't seen her since :( 

i really hope she's okay. i know that i can't keep her, but i was going to give her a bath and feed her until i called an animal shelter. if you call the pound they get about 3-4 days and then if no one adopts them, they get put down :( it's so terrible. i'm just praying that someone had a heart and took her in and that she is safe tonight. i love you nala <3

hello pain.

i miss it all so much.
it really hurts.

hello my new life.

seriously, i love it here. it is beautiful. everyone is so kind. i wish i could just bring all of my friends out here with me to enjoy it all. but i'm not going to lie, i have been missing home. who wouldn't??

i miss wendy's frosty's and fries. 

i miss steak n' shake.

i miss shopping.

i miss a home cooked meal.

i miss my family

i miss my friends

i miss my dog.

i miss my own room.

i miss fall/winter.

i miss hugs.

i miss southern comfort.

you don't realize how much you would miss georgia and the south until you're out of there. it really is home and there really is nothing like home. 

but ill be home in 10 weeks and i will soak in and love every minute of it!

as for my current state here in hawaii, it's pretty wonderful. even when i do get homesick stepping outside and realizing where i am really does help. this past weekend i climbed stairway to heaven. it's a ladder that stretches from the bottom to the top of the tallest mountain on oahu. and it's illegal. haha. it's a bit dangerous and an extremely tough hike. there is a guard on duty from 5am-3am so there's about a 2 hour gap in the early hours of the morning where you have to sneak over to climb it. our journey began about 10pm friday night and we got zero sleep. climbing up the ladder was DEATH. i go to the gym. i'm not a total bum. but this kicked my butt for real. a few people in our group didn't finish because it seriously was just so exhausting. at points it is completely vertical and there is no ground beneath you so if you miss a step... lets just say you don't want to miss a step. and it's metal so towards the top it was slippery because of the moisture from the clouds. but i must admit, when we got to the top it was completely worth it. we saw the sunrise over the entire island and it was beautiful. i will never do it again, but i'm totally glad i did it at least once. 

i think that's another thing i love about being here, i get to do exciting things. i feel like other places the typical weekend consists of the same old parties. which don't get me wrong that's way fun as well. but you're only young once and i'm glad i'm taking advantage of every second of it. 

as for the rest of my life it's going well, just taking it one day at a time and being strong. 

1 corinthians 13: 4-8 

L

hello oahu.

dearest hawaii,
you're too good to me.
i love you.
sincerely, lo.

hello story of a girl.

she wakes up every day feeling different. she lies in bed for a few minutes just thinking about you. she catches herself when she talks to you. sometimes she almost slips up, but she tries not to. she looks forward to the end of their conversations because she gets to say i love you. she goes to her art class and spends two hours drawing. she puts her ipod on shuffle and every song seems to remind her of you. she goes to her next class, education. she sits next to a young newlywed couple that makes her miss you so much. she misses getting hugs. not from just you but from anyone. she looks forward to the days where she helps out at the elementary school because she will receive at least one hug from those darling kindergartners. before the class is over a student plays music on her laptop for a class game. only 3 songs. only 5 minutes left of class. you would think they would be upbeat songs. but one of those songs, is one of their songs... of course. she looks down trying not to think about it or get sad but she can't help it as her eyes start to water up. thank goodness class is over. she goes to her last class of the day, english. what's the topic and theme for class today? love. they spend the class discussing and analyzing two poems about love. for the last twenty minutes the class is asked to write a short in-class paper. the topic: What Is Love? again, her eyes water up with every word she writes. counting down the minutes until class is over. finally, it's done and turned in. she bolts out of there. trying her best to avoid talking or looking at anyone. she misses him. but he's still there, which makes it better. he will always be there. they will always be there for each other. they will always love each other. and knowing that makes her day so much better. 

"I see the old photographs and I am smiling and I'm sure quite happy but what I mostly see is me

through your eyes

and I am still young and slim and very much committed to the love we still have."

-one stanza from Love in Place by Nikki Giovanni

hello r.t.p.

i love you.

forever & always.

aloha hawaii.

i figured i would switch it up with an aloha instead of hello. so this post is going to be long haha...

hawaii is beautiful. absolutely beautiful. incase you want to know, i live on oahu. oahu is a pretty popular island and it's the same island that the capital (honolulu) is on. i live in laie (la-E-A), which is about an hour from honolulu. laie is a very small town. if a want to go get food from a restaurant, my choices are mcdonalds, taco bell, pizza hut, a chinese place, and an ice cream/shave ice place. i live off campus in a house. my house is like right along the beach. as i'm writing this i can hear the waves crashing on the beach. i will say though, one thing i am not a fan of is that i don't have air conditioning. ughh. there isn't air conditioning anywhere in hawaii unless you're in a hotel, a resort, or a store. the university has air conditioning but the dorms don't and none of the houses around do. it's a lot cooler outside of my house than it is inside but i'm getting used to it and figuring out tricks for it to be cooler. 

the campus is gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous. i don't mean to brag, but i think i win the award for prettiest campus haha. i'll post pictures soon! everyone here is super nice and friendly. everyone is also very laid back which can be annoying since i'm coming from an environment that's not like that b.c sometimes i just want to know answers and people are just like 'ohh we'll figure it out later and let ya know'. but it's definitely a stress free environment. 

as for my house... the living room and the kitchen are lime green (it's a bit much), my room is lavander, the other room is a vibrant blue, the bathroom is yellow, and the house is a blue/turquoise. it's a very beachy feeling. my roommates are great! i love them all and we get along so great! one is from california, one is from texas, one is from here on oahu, and the other is from the philippines! 

classes start tomorrow and i'm actually excited. i know that sounds lame, but i'm excited to meet new people! i got a bike today so that will make it nice to get around. 

other things that are interesting about hawaii... the fire trucks and fire hydrants are yellow. everyone and everything will say aloha and mahalo instead of hello and thanks. for example, when i check out a target and i slide my card through the thing, it says 'mahalo for shopping at target'. everyone's uniforms are the button up shirts that have the tropical flowers on them. for like every store it's that way. target they're red, walmart they're blue. people toss up the hang loose hand sign like they show a smile. and everyone bikes, skateboards, or longboards. 

overall i'm doing pretty well! obviously i miss home some because i miss my friends and family but i'm trying really hard to not think about it and to just embrace the change and have fun. it really does help that it's so beautiful here haha. 

okay goals while i'm here:

1. learn how to surf

2. don't get eaten by a shark

3. meet lots of new people

4. get good grades

5. get in great shape

i'll probably think of other ones later but as for now that's about it! alright, well now that i've updated you all on the basics my other posts will be more interesting! just thought i would catch everyone up on how i'm doing! thank you to everyone who has been so kind and supportive. you have no idea how comforting and great it is when i hear everyones support. it just reaffirms that i can do all this. i love you all!! and i will hopefully have more interesting things to say later :) 

L

hello tomorrow.

it's here. i'm getting on an airplane in a few hours. i'm saying goodbye to my best friends, boyfriend, family, and dog. i'll miss my car. i'll miss driving. i'll miss being stupid with my best friends. i'll miss those sweet kisses from boyfriend. i'll miss my big bed. i'll miss being in a room alone. i'll miss my sister always giving me a hard time. i'll miss saying goodnight to my little monster and getting monster hugs from him. i'll mis cuddling with my puppy dog. i'll miss my parents always being there to help me. i'll miss humidity. i'll miss yogli mogli. i'll miss the ec. i'll miss the people. 

but...  i know i'll gain great things in return. i just have to wait to find out just what all those are. 

goodbye georgia, you've been great. i miss you already. see you december 17th. 

hello truth.

wow. it's almost here. it's right around the corner. i can't even believe it. i don't really have many words to say cause it's just so surreal. tomorrow is my last day in east cobb. the last day in georgia. the last time i have a room to my self. the last time i sleep in my big bed. the last time i'm home. the last time i get to see my sweet dogs face every day. the last time i'm in the same time zone as all my friends. the last time i'm in driving distance of everyone. the list goes on and on...

i'm scared. more like terrified. i don't want to leave. i don't want change. i hate change. but i know i need to. i know i belong there. i know it will be worth it. i know i can do it. i just wish it didn't have to be so hard. 

tomorrow is my last day in georgia until december 17th. i'm trying so hard to stay positive and enjoy these last moments and cherish these last memories. it's just so incredibly hard since i spend all my time alone thinking about everything. i don't know how i can still cry? i've cried so much this month ha. i hate having this huge pit in my stomach. i don't know how i'm going to do it. i don't know how i am physically going to say goodbye to the ones i love and step on that airplane. i'm gonna need someone to physically push me because i don't think i can do it alone.

i know that while i'm there the time will fly by. well at least i'm hoping it will ha. and i know i'll make so many great memories. it's just that i already have so many great memories here. i don't want to make new friends. i like the ones i have now. 

it's gonna be tough. but i'm going to try really hard to embrace the change instead of trying to avoid it. i'm just going to need some help because i can't do it alone. 

"i don't wanna go, but i know i gotta go."

-lights

hello society.

hello wants and needs.

i have a serious problem. 

i am obsessed with anthropologie. i can't even tell you how many hours i spend browsing their webiste. my favorite is their home section. obsessed. my house will be the anthro store. i've already decided. 

as for now here are a few things i want for my kitchen:

obviously i need an apron so i don't get dirty while cooking.

darling. i'm in love. $38.

measuring cups. so freaking cute. $36

oven mit that matches the apron. that's a must obviously. $12.

bright morning teacups. a perfect asset to the kitchen. $128. the price. ridiculous. 

sooo who wants to be a doll and get all this for me? i'm leaving for college in about a week so i'm going to need it. notice how i say need? because these are necessities. some people, aka my parents, just don't understand that these aren't wants. these are needs. especially since i'll have a kitchen that i can cook in regularly. why do i have to be so in love with anthropologie?

L

hello blur.

time is ticking. that's all i can think about these days. i wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach and fall asleep with that same pit. the only thing i keep thinking is that it's almost here. it's almost time. almost... but i'll save the depressing words for later when it actually happens, because until then i'm trying my absolute hardest to enjoy the moments i have left here. but it's just racing by. i remember just a few short weeks ago thinking i had forever and now i feel like each day is racing by faster than the last. so i guess i'm just going to have to speed up to get ahead of the race.

anyways for the rest of my ordinary life: 

i went to dinner with a friend today. it made my day :) it's interesting to see how much two people can change over the course of a year. she really is the best and we're so similar, but at the same time so different. i'm just grateful to have her. 

i'm starting to dig through my closet and decide what i need and want to bring to college. it's sad not getting to bring out any of my winter clothes. i love winter. fall/winter time is my favorite and my favorite season! it's weird though because if you know me, then you know i absolutely hate the cold. and i get cold really easily. i wear sweatshirts during the summer. no joke. winter break will be the greatest. i'm going to love and cherish those 2 weeks of coldness. 

i've been extra obsessed with music lately. currently i'm listening to bon iver. i listen to bon iver on repeat for days, even weeks at a time. i never get sick of those songs. i've also been listening to a lot of ben harper lately. stalz got me listening to him. and for that i am forever grateful to him for haha. 

as for the television, degrassi is where it's at. i was addicted to that show in middle school and now i find myself watching it yet again. i know it's really stupid and full of bad acting. but it's very entertaining. after all, it has to be good seeing how that's how drake got his start right? 

alright, enough of my nonsense. i know none of you guys could actually be that interested by my boring days. i'll blog again when i actually have something interesting and meaningful to say. 

L

hello nee noo.

alright.

sooo... there's this girl who i call my best friend. now, i have several best friends. but this one is just an extra bit special. and no i don't mean special as in more meaningful or better... i mean special as in WERID. if you know her, you've probably seen a glimpse of this weirdness that i'm talking about. but you see, we've been best friends since 4th grade... i know her weirdness. i've seen every angle, bit, piece, and corner of it. the whole shabang. normally when my phone rings at ridiculous hours in the night, i don't even have to look down to see who's calling because i know that it's her. before i look down to click accept, i see her calling picture pop up...

it's really great i know. it makes me smile before i even begin to listen to the next ridiculous thing that comes out of her mouth. at one point i really do think i was actually a lot weirder than her. and then i'm not sure what exactly happened but she just blossomed into her true self i guess. i think this last year though she has really come out of her shell. she's given the outside world a glimpse of her true character. mostly through the eyes of facebook. i know there is no way that you all haven't seen some of her videos. 

most of the time i really do become speechless at the things i hear from her. a special someone could sweep me off my feet, take me on a helicopter ride throughout the city, go skydiving (which i would never do because i'm terrified of drops), take me to my favorite restaurant, give me 1000 roses, and shower me with love and i guarantee that one simple sentence that comes out of her mouth would leave me more speechless than all of that combined. normally after she tells me stuff i can hear the silence on the phone as she waits in anticipation for my reaction. however, 99% of the time, it just stays silent because i can't help but stare up at my ceiling pondering what words i could possibly conger up to explain how i really feel. ridiculous. that's the only word that ever comes to my mind. it's all ridiculous. 

but every angle, bit, piece, and corner of her ridiculousness is what makes my day. it's what's made my day for 9 years now. half of my life. and if any of you are so lucky to get to see a glimpse of that ridiculousness, then you are truly lucky. one of these days she's going to find mr. right and will get to share that ridiculousness with him and he will love her entirely for it. not as much as i do, because that's just impossible. but i think he'll come pretty close. so keep chasing those dreams nee noo. be the person you want to be. strive for only the best and be only the best. because only the best is what you and your ridiculousness deserve. 

L

hello birthdays.

happy birthday.

not always so happy. 

miss you dearly. 

wish you were here. 

can't wait to see you again.

happy birthday.

not always so happy.

hello rachel.

rachel.

obsessed. 

we all have those celebrities that we like to stalk. rachel is mine. i think my obsession with her started from the oc. i love that show. i cried when it ended. true story.

 i'm not sure exactly why i'm so fond of her. i think i first fell in love with her character, summer roberts. i idolized her glamorous lifestyle in orange county. spending her days as the most popular girl in school, with the most fashionable outfits. she spent her mornings sipping her frappuccino, and her afternoons tanning at the pool. and of course we can't leave out her 2 best friends: marissa cooper and princess sparkle.

the other thing i loved about summer was that she had seth cohen drooling over the ground she walked. and even though he is dorky and nerdy, she gave him a chance to put her before his comic books. they made the perfect couple. i smile just thinking about those two. now i know, they are all just fictional characters on a television show... but i like to think it's all real life. and at the end of the day i still think rachel has everything going for her. minus the fact that her and adam brody aren't together. that really is quite a shame. but don't worry rach, i'll still buy all the magazines that your face is on the cover of. p.s. sorry if that sounds creepy.

bilson.

hello youth.

how sweet it is to be young. 

don't you ever miss being in kindergarten and the worst thing that happened during the day was that someone took the firetruck-red crayon you wanted? that was the life. nap time. recess. snack break. talk about living it up. 

my sister and her almost 3-year-old son have been visiting. i call her son my little monster. he is always full of energy. earlier today we were sitting on the couch watching him run around the living room, jump on the couch, jump to the ottoman, jump back to the couch, jump on me, throw the pillow, jump back to the floor, run around the living room... and repeat. he could do this for hours. little kids wear me out! but it's amazing how spending just a few minutes with them can make you feel on top of the world. when i see him smile, i can't help but smile too. out of the blue today, he looks at my sister and says, "momma you beautiful" my sister replied by saying, "aw thank you baby!" he replied, "you weldcom" and then kissed her. i know what love feels like, but that simply melts my heart. the best is when i'm sitting in my room, and all of a sudden i hear those little footsteps coming toward my door. the door slowly creeps open and i see his little nose peeking through. then about two seconds later he slams the door and runs away. 

now i'm not going to lie, i'm not always thinking about how adorable he is. normally the time when i'm not the most thrilled with him is in the morning hours... today for example, i was awakened with his lovely screaming and crying right outside of my door. followed by my sister yelling, "we do not throw our clothes in the toilet!!!"..... even then, i still can't help but smile from my little monster :)

"Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

L

hello jack johnson.

such a wonderful concert! it rained for the majority of the time, but there's just something about the rain that makes a crowd of people happy? as soon as it rains the entire crowd bursts out into ridiculous dancing and obnoxious screaming that they try to call singing... but i must admit, i was apart of that crowd :) 

i love music and concerts. absolutely love. i can't even tell you how many concerts i've been to. i went through a phase where i was almost obsessive about it. there's just something about music that is so amazing. i really do think music can heal a soul. sometimes you just can't find the words to express something, but when you express it in a song, it makes it crystal clear. but the thing i love about concerts is the atmosphere. at jack i turned around to see this random guy run up to a random girl and give her a quick kiss. then immediately run away yelling "that was awesome!" while she said to herself... "who was that...?"
or when this group of girls in front of us were a little intoxicated. they continued to yell when people would step on their blanket. 2 of the girls left to get something and when they came back they walked past where their friends were and stepped all over their blanket. one of their friends tried to pull them back and explain how this is where they were. yet she insisted that they had to keep walking. finally she realized that she was back to where all her friends were. she looked down and yelled... "ahhh who just stepped on the blanket again?!?!"
later that night, i look down and see a girl crawling down beside my feet, reaching out with her pointer finger trying to touch a sleeping bag that was folded up behind me. the woman who owned the sleeping bag looked down at her and asked what she was doing? after the girl touched the sleeping bag, her and her friend busted out in hysterical laughter for the next 5 minutes yelling about how she thought it was a persons ass. woman-"do you want to touch the ass?!?" girl-"hahahaha!" woman-"go ahead!" girl-"hahahahaha!" woman-"touch the ass! touch it!" 
concerts are for entertainment. but i normally find more entertainment from the crowd instead of the 'entertainment'. 

dashboard confessional. family force 5. hellogoodbye. mayday parade. say anything. the maine. 3OH!3. ben lee. the rocket summer. kill paradise. meg and dia. OAR. the starting line. the white tie affair. jack johnson. cobra starship. breathe carolina. all time low. a day to remember. angels and airwaves. forever the sickest kids. gym class heros. the academy is. the secret handshake. GLO. a rocket to the moon. attack! attack! saosin. scary kids scaring kids. we the kings. the devil wears prada. new found glory. hit the lights. senses fail. chiodos. jacks mannequin. the less. relient k. katy perry. matisyahu.

and more. all amazing in concert. all entertaining.

as for the rest of life... it's swell. just missing friends and boyfriend. but i'm looking on the positive side of things. i'm so blessed to have my sister in town! and i'm so lucky to have technology so i can keep in touch with everyone!

well ill leave the rest of this post to be said by jack.


"love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart. like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard? it's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. i'll tell you one thing, it's so much better when we're together."


L

hello, hello.

it's legit. 

i am officially alone. 

g-face left today for college. 

i am the last. 

whooo hooo. 

but, no more sulking for me! :) now is a perfect time to do lots of random stuff. for instance, last night i spent about 3 hours cleaning my car. and i'm not talking about spraying it with the hose and calling it clean. i scrubbed my car inside and out! it is spotless and i am very proud. who needs to pay to get it detailed when i can do it myself? well... after all my hard work i turned my car on to move it to a different spot... only to realize it wouldn't turn on. swell. my luck rocks. my battery died. 

my sistaaa & hayden came home last night! yayyy :) i have missed her dearly. i am very proud to say that i introduced my sis into the wonderful world of miami and the jersey shore. she watched her first episode last night. it was great. my favorite line of the night came from the wonderful snooki.

 "guys are douchebags and i hate them all. they don't know how to deal with women and i feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." hahaha love it.

yesterday i helped nee-noo move in to her room at georgia state university. yeahhh... what university? what campus? we were in downtown atl. surounded by sketch areas and all of a sudden they decided to call one of the buildings ga state? i swear. one of our friends said he was going to buy a taser. very wise if you ask me :) (nee-noo and g-face: please invest in one)

i feel like a mom to my girls. helping them all move in and checking up on them to make sure they're all doing okay. but i'm okay with being the mom :) i love you guys so much.

finally, i'm going to see mr. jack tonight :) (jack johnson). i simply cannot wait! 

xoxo

L

hello someone special.

hello fashion.

feelin' artsy lately. i miss sewing. i miss fashion.

i wish i could just spend all my time reading fashion magazines and wasting away my hours shopping... well i do that already, but i mean even more than i already do.

i used to want to go into the fashion industry. but i am too indecisive to stick to just that. i used to have dreams of my designs being in the magazines that we all read. now i'd rather be taking the pictures in the magazines. who knows what i'll do in life. i get too bored sticking to just one thing. i guess vogue will have to wait.

hello distance.

alone.

that's how i'm starting to feel. why my college begins in september...? yeahhh.. i have no clue. it sounds nice to start late, but honestly the only thing coming from it is feeling lonely. i feel like i'm constantly saying goodbye to someone. i hate it. everyone is moving forward in their life and i'm just stuck on pause... waiting. i see everyone starting up their new lives and hearing all about it and i just wish i could be going through the same thing with them. not a month later? i guess patience really is a virtue. i'm very lucky to still have 2 of my best friends still here. but then they leave this week. i guess the weirdest thing about it all is that home doesn't feel like home since everyone's gone. i miss them. i miss the way things used to be. i haven't even started my new life and i'm already missing my old one?

i think one of the weirdest things about leaving high school is not seeing your friends. yes, you see your good friends a lot. but those people you're friends with in class but never really hang out with? or the ones that you just say hi to every now and then. i miss seeing those people. the last time i saw half those people was graduation. everyone is going in a new direction. none of them are the same. in high school we all had to take required classes with mostly the same teachers and classmates. college is a whole different ball game. i miss my friends. i miss my best friends. i miss boyfriend.

they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. yes, that may be true.. but no one ever said it would be so lonely.

hello, you got mail.

may we always keep in touch...

no matter the distance...

or however long it's been...

may we always find a way to stay connected...

so that we will always stay friends...

promise to always find a way...

i know i always will...

may we always stay in touch.

hello time.

time for an update. about time, i know.

well i went to sanibel island with my family and ryan for a week. it was amazing and i enjoyed every second of it!

after i got home from the beach, i tried to shove in a million things in a few short 2 weeks. my friends and i have been hanging out a ton and i've loved every second of it. but unfortunately it all is coming to an end...

last night we all hung out at guenz's house to go swimming and chill. something we've been doing since middle school. and now it's over? yeah, we'll do it again next summer. but it'll never be the same. never. the next time all 5 of us girls will be together is december 17th.... what? NO.

i hate growing up.

i wish time could slow down.

i'm sick of crying.

britty-boo left this morning... we all went over to say goodbye. it sucks. a lot. i know i'll see her again in a few weeks. but it's the fact that i can't just drive over to her house when i need her. i can't call her up and ask what she's gonna wear when we hang out tonight. because she won't be there. i can't take ugly picture with her b.c she's not here. i hate it. guenz leaves tuesday... so i get to do this all over again? great. everyone is on a countdown. as sad as that is, it's true. only so many days till everyone is gone. and the time is just ticking away, faster and faster...

i can't even imagine what it's going to be like when i leave...

to everyone that's departing the ec... goodluck! i love you all. it's never goodbye, only see you later. may bigger and better things come your way. class of 2014.

hello beach.

i haven't even started packing...

oh well :)

peace out east cobbers.

see you all in a week.

hello random thoughts.

love. hate. happiness. sad. depressed. weird. joyful. jealous. sneaky. angry. ecstatic. furious.

and the list goes on and on.

feelings we all have experienced throughout our life. sometimes even all in one day.

we all have a right to feel and release our emotions in different ways. but it doesn't mean that the other people are always going to like it. but we have that right simply by living & breathing.

now, i'm not saying that exactly makes any of us pretty when some of those emotions come out. i think two of the most unattractive emotions are jealousy & hatred. similar in so many ways. but also so far apart. it's interesting how those emotions can simply bring out the nasty in a sweet person. it's ugly. so how does a person deal with it then? because jealousy normally occurs because it forms from love. ironic? so do you just stop loving? do you learn to take out that anger in other ways? or do you just release the ugly side of you?

now back to hatred.

i think it was sophomore year for me when i realized that i stopped caring. not about people. but about what other people thought of me. i realized that i wanted to start caring more about my character than my reputation. because my character is who i am, and my reputation is what others think of me.

so i focussed more on my character. i figured out who i wanted to be. i wanted to be nice. i realized that it really isn't hard at all to be kind to other people. so i made a goal to meet lots of new people and show simple acts of kindness whenever i could.

now i'm not by any means perfect. i know i'm not always nice. but i like myself & my character better when i am. so i don't understand why some people are just mean? there's no need for it. i feel like i've always been open minded to giving people 2nd and 3rd chances. but what's the point? if the other person is just going to be mean? i guess there are just some people in your life that you won't ever get along with, and that's okay. but i still don't understand the need to go out of your way to not like someone? seriously. i would never wish upon someone a unhappy life. it's a lot harder to hate someone than to like someone. so if there's a person like that in your life, then i suggest that you try and wave that flag of peace. but ya know what... if they aren't going to wave that flag in return, then they aren't worth being in your life anyways, and you are way better off without them. no one wants to carry around an ugly accessory.

"love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time."

just some random thoughts from me, to you.

L

hello vacation.

beach.

one week.

enough said.

hello color.

my old template was annoying me. i get sick of things quickly. so i decided it was time for a change and that i needed some more color.

not only have i decided to make this change to my blog, but also to my life. summer is flying. i wish i could press pause sometimes but i know i can't. i hate that. so i decided that i need to finish crossing off some things on my summer to-do list. and i'm happy to report that i think i'm doing a pretty good job at it.

within the last few days i built a rocket. and this is no joke. i built a rocket. now, come on, i'm not talking like nasa rocket. more like cardboard paper rocket built from my house. well boyfriend and i decided to build them because both my brother and him both used to build them and shoot them off. nerdy? yes :) but i have to admit, i have crossed over into the dorky side with this one. we shot them off yesterday and it was actually really cool! they went so high and it was just neat. ah now i'm really sounding nerdy.

boyfriend and i also went out on a date last night. where?

studio movie grill.

check it out! it's a movie theater, but they also serve you dinner during your movie. it's really new and really nice. the service is great too. it's on holcomb bridge road. just search it in google if you and your bf/gf or friends all want to go one night. it's something different and fun!

today i went to white water with my family and boyfriend. white water always brings back so many memories of middle school. we used to spend all our summer days at that place. it was the best.

well i'm currently hiding out from the fam. does that sound bad? haha. i love them. but since my brother, his wife, and their 3 little boys have been here, it's been kind of hard to get a moment of peace & quiet to myself.

ciao

from the girl that's adding a little more color to her life

L

hello goodbye.

ironic much? hello goodbye actually used to be one of my favorite bands. i even saw them in concert once. but that's not the point of this post.

well, heather left.

blah.

back to california she goes. goodbye's are always hard. i feel like i've become a pro at saying them though. i've always had friends that are older than me so i'm very used to saying bye to my friends. but this time it was different. it's different because in a way it's the beginning of saying adios to all my friends before i leave for hawaii. not cool. i won't see heath till the very end of december :( 5 months. FIVE MONTHS. way too long. also, ironically even though she is the farthest from me and i won't get to see her for the longest time. when i get out to hawaii she will be the closest one to me. i'm so grateful to have her as a friend. she seriously is the sweetest person i've met. she has such a huge heart and deserves the best. i love her to death :)

well, also on the topic of college... housing.

FAIL.

i honestly don't even feel like writing about this because it makes me really upset but i figure it's probably good to get my anger out. well i found out a few days ago that i am on the wait list for housing. you're prob like what? how can that happen to freshmen?? yeah... my thoughts exactly. well this year they accepted too many freshmen and there aren't enough dorms for them so they are allowing them to live off campus. i'm # 79 on the wait list, out of 186. i can't help but keep wondering why? why me? what did i do wrong? did i send my housing stuff in late? no. did i fill something out wrong? no. simply just bad luck. now, some people might think it'd be awesome to live in an apartment and not want to live in the dorms. but i want to. that might sound lame, but i really want to. i want to have that freshman experience. but more so because i've never even set foot on campus. i have a 7:30am class that has to do with my major. i don't have a car. i'll be walking to school in the dark. meal plan... i don't want to commute to campus just to eat and i don't want to start cooking. i'm definitely not ready for that. i want a freshman roommate. if i live in the apartment i could get roommates who are as old as 25. and i can't look at the apartments either. i can't just fly over there and look. ughhhhhhad;lfkjasdklfjas;.

so after several phone calls to about every possible person who works at byuh, it looks like that the reality of it is that i will be living off campus and that i need to start looking. now. so i've decided that i have no choice but to try and look on the bright side of all this.

bright side:

i could live right on the beach. even though the dorms are only a 4 minute walk away...

i could have more space and my own room. also when my friends come to visit they can stay comfortably with me.

i can decorate more (that is a plus for me)

i can get a bike. but a cute one.

i'll loose weight. haha seriously though. because either i won't be eating bc i won't cook. or i will be walking and riding my bike so much that i will burn off anything i eat. no need for a gym? haha

wish me luck. i hate you college.

xoxo

L

hello friendship.

hello again. i know it's been awhile, but i've been busy and enjoying this sweet summertime.

one thing that has been on my mind lately is friendship.

heather came home from california and that probably explains my lack of blogging. it's been wonderful getting to hang out with her! (: it really is tough though. it's tough only getting to see someone twice a year. especially when they mean so much to you. she leaves tomorrow... askldjfa;lk. i don't wanna talk about it.

also, with miss lexie getting married it's made me so sad to know that i probably won't be here for it :( stupid college. it sucks. she is going through such an amazing time right now and i can't be there to help her out with any of it. stupid? yes. but that doesn't take away from the fact that i am so incredibly happy for her and garrett!

well this last weekend we celebrated the 4th of july. so a bunch of us went up to boyfriends cabin and spent 2 days there in the mountains. it was a blast! it's really nice being able to sneak away sometimes. i know i complain a lot about east cobb. but when it comes down to it, i really do love east cobb. you who are reading this probably think i'm crazy, but it's the truth. we've been really lucky to grow up in such a great town with great opportunities. but on the other hand, it does get frustrating that since it's not that big of a town, everyone know everything. about everyone. always. so it's a breathe of fresh air when i can sneak away to other places like the beach, the lake, or the mountains.

yesterday i went to helen with 4 of my best friends. our friend has a house there so we spent the night and then today went tubing. it was a lot of fun. before we got to the house we made a stop at the local grocery store, ingles. yeah we don't have one of those in the ec. now i'm not trying to bash the north ga area, but if you've visited then you probably know it's not exactly marietta. yeahhh... i don't think there's a need to explain, i'll just list a few words to sum it up.

red neck. lots of land. little construction. not a ton to do. lack of teeth. wild life.

well upon our check out, heather and i were approached by a guy who looked our age. he walked up and asked us if we needed help with our groceries.... heather didn't buy anything. i bought something... but i didn't put it in a bag. we awkwardly looked at him showing him our empty hands and trying not to laugh at his attempt of a pick up line. our other friends turned around to get in on the convo. after telling him how we didn't need help he asked if we wanted to hang out with him and his buddies that were around the corner. i love and hate awkward moments. the point of our trip was a girls night and even if it wasn't, none of us are really into the whole red neck, ingles pick up date. well after a few moments of continued awkward silence i told him we were only stopping through and still had another 30 mins to go before we got to our house. lie. i'll tell ya... they don't have much going on in cleveland. this boy was persistent. persistent or really bored. maybe a mix of both. after telling him a few times how we couldn't hang out he still tried to get a number. what do we do...? of course... all of a sudden all of my friends have boyfriends. what are the odds that 5 girls would all have boyfriends at the same time? that's totally believable right? :) probably the longest 5 awkward minutes of my life. i don't even remember everything that was said or how we got out of there. all i remember was passing a man with a shirt that was too short and a huge wolf tattoo on his leg as we walked out the door. i know i probably sound really stuck up. but ya know what... for some people that area is perfect for them and all the better for them. it's just not me. never has been. never will be. sorry cleveland, ga. thank you for the ice cream i purchased and the laughs when i saw heather almost eat it on the concrete when we were running out of ingles to the car. i will be forever grateful.

well after that we got to the cabin. we probably spent about 30 minutes running through the entire house looking in every room and jumping on every bed and dancing around like the little girls we are. i think we probably yelled "it's just like were in the hills and were going away for the weekend!!!!!" about 10 times. at least. we're all adults now and so when we get the chance to get away and just have a house to ourselves, it's really exciting, fun, and relaxing. my parents are extremely relaxed but still, it's nice sometimes to just be away because that's how you learn. you make mistakes. you learn. you grow. that's definitely one reason why i'm excited for college. i feel like in a way i'm being forced to grow up. the minute i step onto that air plane there will be no turning back and i'll be entirely on my own. if i need to come home one weekend, i can't. i'll be forced to become more independent and grow up, fast. and even though that scares me because i like having people there that i can depend on, i still know that by leaving it will give me that extra push i need to continue to mature. and honestly, i think i can handle it. i'm ready for this next stage of life. i'm weirdly excited for when i get a permanent job and being able to finance myself entirely. for 18 and a half years (exactly) i've depended on other people. i'm excited to be able to depend on myself for a little while.

but i think i'm sounding really hypocritical because i love that i can depend on my parents, family, friends, & boyfriend. i love that security. alright... i'm making no sense and i've strayed away from my story about our helen trip.

so let's sum this post up.

helen was a blast. i love my friends. i'm scared to death to leave for college because that means not having them by my side. however, i'm excited to learn more about myself and caring for me. i think it will be cool to be more independent but when i say independent i mean in a financial/stable way. make sense? probably not. i know i'm really confusing.

peace.

lo