hello valley on high.

hello deepest depths.

i'm breaking free.

breaking free from the horror of the past.

breaking free from the pain of you.

breaking free from self doubt.

breaking free from self hurt.

i'm breaking free.

and emerging myself into the beauty of a better future. 

L

hello beauty.

i read a sad statistic today. 

based off a study spread across 10 countries, surveying 3,200 women between the ages of 18-64, only 2% consider themselves beautiful. wow. 2%. it's really saddening to see what society has classified beauty as.

the definition of beauty according to the merriam-webster dictionary is: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. the definition itself refers to beauty within, not necessarily someones physical appearance. how sad that society has made an unwritten definition of what beauty is. and the majority of us go along with it.

so next time you're quick to judge how beautiful a person is, remember to think first. because only 2% of us believe that we're beautiful. the world doesn't need more critics. 

to find out more information about this survey click here. its called the real truth about beauty: a global report. i found it really interesting to read.

L

hello blue.

i'm falling back into one of my moods again. i'm getting a need to do some good. get involved again. there are days where i really miss not being involved with relay for life. i feel so unproductive not putting my efforts into helping a cause. so i'm excited because i'm getting involved again. i've made it a goal of mine to volunteer my time at least once a week with something. and every day i've been doing my good deed. and ooh la la, i am lovin it. 

every tuesday and thursday i enjoy my car rides to school with lindsay and beth. we make our goals for the day. "beth, what are your goals today?" "hmmm i'm going to try to day dream only for half of my class instead of the entire class." 

we're getting real productive around here.

hello beka.

while looking through old photos the other day, i stumbled upon this lovely gem. this was taken about 3-4 years ago. story behind it all: my mom was taking a picture of my sister and i. sister leaned forward. i gripped tighter to stay on. the rest should make sense. and my mom doesn't know how to work a camera so she got it on film. ohhh happy day. i miss my sister and mom so much.

hello rainy sunday.

today it rained all day. which is my absolute favorite. rainy sunday's are the best. 

so i figured i would go take pictures with my roommates and write about them on my blog so everyone knew who they were. let's begin...

this is beth. also known as bubby. she calls me cacoon. we have a very interesting relationship that i love more than anything. i think beth is the funniest person i've ever met. she always makes me smile. she thinks i need to go to fat camp but it's okay, i still love her. we write quotes on our fridge of funny things that are said, litterally i kid you not, 90% of the fridge is beth referring to me. too funny.

lauren: "oh look, How To Stay Out Of Trouble Fair, you should go to that beth!"

beth: "me?! you should. you're the one that has a crush on a married man!"

i love her.

this is lindsay. she was napping when i went around taking pictures with everyone. i love her more than anything. we give each other butterfly kisses on the daily and she's one of my bestest friends.

destiny. what a grand name right? my friend sonny says it would be awesome to marry her for 2 reasons: 1. you can say that you have a date with destiny 2. when you have kids you can say it's destiny's child. oh sonny... he's a funny one. she is probably top 5, one of the nicest girls i've ever met in my entire life. love her.

caroline. caroline is the mom of our house. which is good because without her i would not cook actual meals and only live off of mcdonalds... i personally don't see anything wrong with that but caroline tells me otherwise. she makes sure we keep our house clean and that we never run out of toilet paper. i love my mom. i would be a mess without her. we all would.

rachel. also known as racka racka. this is my baby boo. best friend. we snuggle on the reg. i love her dearly. she is quite the clumsy one and i constantly worry for her safety. i am not exaggerating when i say this. last year she got hit by a car. literally got hit by a car while she was riding her bike. i worry for this one. she is definitely blonde for a reason. but i can't help but love her for it. love her so much.

my other two roommate natalia and alexis weren't home when this picture taking was going on so i will have to write about them later. but these are the girls of the bridge house in laie, hawaii. we are currently in the works of writing a house song. should be on the radio soon.

today i am thankful for friends. friends that have become my family. friends that i can trust. friends that love me so much. new friends. i have a really tough time trusting people these days, but i know God has blessed me with these wonderful people right now for a reason. 

i am also so thankful for old friends back home. i miss those crazy people more than anything.

happy rainy sunday to you all. it was quite cozy and lovely if i do say so myself.

xoxo

L

hello jacom.

3 years ago today my family and i said goodbye to an amazing person. jacom larson. but rather than being sad all day about missing him, i'm trying to take my sister's advice and celebrate the day. celebrate the life jacom lived. celebrate life.

i wish you were still here.

i wish my sister had her true love here, her husband.

i wish hayden had a dad.

i wish i had my brother.

i wish our family was complete. 

i wish you could pin me down to the floor and tickle me again.

but you're gone and 3 years later i still have a really tough time understanding why you had to leave. it seems so unfair. i've questioned it a lot.. why do bad things happen to good people? i don't think i'll ever get any peace of mind knowing why you had to leave this earth. but i have faith that one day it will all make sense. obviously our heavenly father needed you more than we did. i know you look over all of us every day. it doesn't take away the fact that i miss you always though. i admired you so much. i admired you and beka together. i admired what you two had. i hate the past tense. i admire what you guys have. 

it all still breaks my heart. 

i hate how whenever i hear the word cancer i immediately think of you. i don't want to connect you to your death. i want to connect you to the amazing life you lived and the wonderful and fun times we all shared with you. so i'm going to try harder to celebrate life. celebrate your life. in the words of my sister,

"I will use October 21st as a day to remember how lucky I am to have time.  I ask that y’all join me.  Do something today that shows how blessed you are to be living.  Eat cake for dinner (and don’t feel guilty about it), stop doing work and get on the floor and play with your kids, hug and kiss your special one just a little bit more, call someone you haven’t talked to in a while, go skinny dipping, do a Chinese fire drill, take a walk outside and look at the world, turn your phone off, just do something."

i could sit here and write on and on about the things i wish could happen. but at the end of the day, i know i can't change things. it was a blessing just to have you in my life. thank you. thank you so much for loving my sister and hayden so much. thank you for loving me. i love you. forever and always. and i can't wait for that day when i get to see your smiling face again.

L

hello paradise.

i'm truly living in a paradise right now.
so sorry i've been mia from the blogging world lately. i've gotten kind of annoyed of the internet. i know, who would have thought, me of all people? but honestly it's been so nice to not be on facebook or twitter 24/7. i seriously was addicted. i'd much rather spend my time living in the moment here. living in this paradise. i am so grateful for the people God has blessed me with in my life at this time. i know 100% that i need these people in my life right now. and i am oh so thankful.
happy thursday kids.
L

hello flying high.

sunday morning.

the beauty here is breathtaking.

that afternoon i had the chance to check off something from my bucket list :)

i flew a kite on the beach!

simple, yes.

fantastic, yes.

i was one happy camper.

such a beautiful day, spent with some beautiful people.

L

hello awe and wonder.

my weekend was so wonderful. but seeing how i am behind on blogging, i'll just let the pictures do the talking.

nichel and mckenzie :)

double rainbow

my big brother

foodland extravaganza's with rachy

 sunday morning sunrise

sunday morning breakfast that rach and i made for the boys

happy birthday slex!! 

 

turtle bay fun

walking home from campus yesterday

every day here is filled with smiles and laughter. i love it. i wish i could scribble down every wonderful moment and grand ole time here. i'm blessed.

this is my family. missing linds and sonny of course. but these people are the greatest. i might add that i'm happy we finally got on camera, kenneth always admiring me ;) hahaha.

thank you hawaii for showing me happiness again.

thank you friends for being here for me. being there when i need to cry and when i need a laugh. i am infinitely grateful that you people are in my life at this given moment in time.

L

hello contentment.

this weekend was oh so wonderful. 

i'll blog about it tomorrow. 

but as for right now i'm just feeling very blessed.

very happy.

and very content with life.

these are the greatest of friends i could ask for.

L