hello awe and wonder.

my weekend was so wonderful. but seeing how i am behind on blogging, i'll just let the pictures do the talking.

nichel and mckenzie :)

double rainbow

my big brother

foodland extravaganza's with rachy

 sunday morning sunrise

sunday morning breakfast that rach and i made for the boys

happy birthday slex!! 

 

turtle bay fun

walking home from campus yesterday

every day here is filled with smiles and laughter. i love it. i wish i could scribble down every wonderful moment and grand ole time here. i'm blessed.

this is my family. missing linds and sonny of course. but these people are the greatest. i might add that i'm happy we finally got on camera, kenneth always admiring me ;) hahaha.

thank you hawaii for showing me happiness again.

thank you friends for being here for me. being there when i need to cry and when i need a laugh. i am infinitely grateful that you people are in my life at this given moment in time.

L

hello contentment.

this weekend was oh so wonderful. 

i'll blog about it tomorrow. 

but as for right now i'm just feeling very blessed.

very happy.

and very content with life.

these are the greatest of friends i could ask for.

L

hello the carlton.

so far today has been a good day.

i somehow managed to finish all my big school projects.

found out that my one class for tomorrow got canceled.

just ate pizza bagel bites (my fav).

going to a partyyy tonight.

all around, i'm just in a good mood.

and nothing incredible has happened to cause it.

and when i'm in a good mood, i can't help but want to bust out the carlton dance.

(watch video below)

you know after watching that, you just want to bust it out as well... don't lie.

you're welcome.

happy day to you all.

L

hello studious lauren.

boredom while trying to do my homework. 

because today has been hectic.

and school is not fun.

but the 10 minutes of studying time i wasted doing this, was totally worth it.

L

hello monday.

ever roll out of bed and wake up on the right side? as in not the wrong side? well today i definitely woke up on the right side of the bed and just began my day in such a wonderful mood. maybe it's because of this beautiful weather. because normally monday mornings are not my finest hour. 

tonight we had a bonfire at the red house and made smores. it's so nice to just always be surrounded by your friends. i've made such great friendships in the short time i've been here. i won't lie though, i'm having a really tough time learning to trust people and let people in. but i'm trying to go back to the way i used to be and give people the benefit of the doubt, and trust that there are good people out here. i know there are. i just need to get rid of the doubt and fear that everyone sucks. haha. so nice right? 

"love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

william shakespeare 

L

hello reality.

bring on the week. 

this week,

i will smile more.

i will stress less.

i will be more studious.

i will make new friends.

i will do something kind for someone else every day.

i will be less scared.

i will do something spontaneous.

i will laugh more.

and if instead everything goes downhill, i'll get a helmet.

L

hello weekend.

thank goodness for the weekend. lots of time at the beach. surprisingly i didn't get burnt this weekend. success. my parents would be so proud to know that i am using sunscreen.

saturday night i went to waikiki with some of the girls. shopping and cheesecake factory was in the plans of course. i wish i could explain why it was just so much fun, but it wouldn't make any sense. all i know is that we were pretty much cracked out. (say crack again.. crack)

lots of dancing and lots of fun. i love these kids.

we also spent a good 10 minutes laughing at that picture of linds and i below (far left). she is a funny one. i love her. and i'm so grateful for her.

oh and lets also add a thank goodness for not getting into a car crash almost 3 times. 

*warning, the driver should not dance*

this evening we had brinner. (breakfast for dinner) which is pretty much my absolute favoritest thing, ever. breakfast foods are the best. pancakes, waffles, french toast, hash browns, scrambled eggs, cinnamon rolls, doughnuts. the list goes on and on. all amazing. wow, i feel like all i ever write about is food on this blog, it's cool. fat kidz 4 lyfee. we went ova to the gator house and had a wonderful brinner. good eats with good friends. 

also had a mini gecko den reunion (middle picture below). i loved those roommates more than anything. i wish savanna was out here still. i miss her. 

also, i'm just gonna throw it out there that someone (i will not name) threw me into the ocean this fine evening. while i was wearing that 100% silk dress pictured above. rude. but fun.

rachy got home yesterday as well. she's been gone for the whole last week so it is so nice to have my roommate back. oh, and just on a side note.. bridge house gets otter pops! whoo hoo. figure 8's going everywhere. pimp house. love it. love life. love friends.
hawaii, you are too good to me.

xoxo

L

hello e.e.

couldn't have said it better.

L

hello friday.

time for the weekend. thank goodness. beach here i come. 

and this weekend my roommates and i are making this...

umm can you say, ahh-may-ZING.

can't wait.

happy friday friends :)

xo

L

hello awesome.

so i'm currently reading an awesome book. 

wait, like it really is awesome. 

and by that i mean the book is called, the book of awesome by neil pasricha. 

and i think it has become my all time, favorite book, ever.

it's a book of 1000 awesome things in life. they are all simple things, that just make your day so much better. it's just awesome. and every time i read this book i can't help but just smile or laugh because it is all so true.

if you're a little confused on what's in it, i'll elaborate. awesome things that when they happen, make your day a little better:

eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying

perfectly toasted toast

peeling that thin plastic film off of new electronics 

finding your keys after looking forever 

hitting a bunch of green lights in a row

finding out your birthday is on a friday or saturday next year

when you're awkwardly standing by yourself with a full cafeteria tray of food and suddenly spot your friend waving at you

when you get the milk-to-cereal ratio just right

squeezing through a door as it's shutting without touching it

waking up and realizing it's saturday

remembering what movie that guy is from 

perfectly popped microwave popcorn 

returning to your warm and comfy bed after getting up to pee in the middle of the night 

seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you're going the speed limit anyway 

stress level goes up.

stress level goes down.

AWESOME!

don't tell me you just read that list and didn't smile? 

awesome.

L

hello seth cohen.

hello comfort food.

college brings out the best and worst eating habits for me. this week, my diet has consisted of cookie dough. i halfway blame my wonderful friend samantha brooks for this problem. she got me hooked at a young age and ever since it's only gotten worse. and for whatever reason, this week it has just gotten out of hand. i'm talking about a batch a day of cookie dough. me and my roommates have all gathered around the kitchen table, chatted about our lives, and ended the day so happy bc our belly's are full from all this cookie dough. it just seems to make everything better. and i honestly believe that some foods can make everything better.  cookie dough definitely makes that list. 

monday was a baking day. one of my friends was having a rough day, so i decided to put my baking skills to work and made her a heart shaped brownie. and i think her day got a little better after that. as did mine after licking the bowl clean of the batter. om nom nom.

then i made cookies for my friend sean's birthday. and finally the day ended with making a batch of cookie dough for my roommates. i guess i'm the one to blame for this daily routine now since i started it on monday. woops.. sorry i'm not sorry.

the main reason i made cookie dough for one of my roommates was bc she had found out some sad news that day. her friend died from a diabetes accident. completely unexpected. he was supposed to get married next week. my heart just broke when i heard that. it is so scary to know that everything can change within minutes and your life can be flipped upside down. that's why you've got to learn to cherish the moments you have now. i hate leaving things unsettled with people or in a bad spot because there is always that chance that something could happen and you would never get to make things right again. so my 2 cents for the day, if you're in a bad spot with someone right now, go out of your way to try and settle things. always end the day telling the people you care about that you love them. life is simply too short. but at least along the way we can celebrate that life over a bowl of cookie dough with some wonderful friends :)

L

hello knowledge.

may today there be peace within. may you trust god that you are exactly where you are meant to be. may you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. may you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given you. may you be content knowing you are a child of god. let his presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. it is there for each and every one of us.

this quote is hanging in a frame at our house. love it.

xoxo

L

hello hawaii.

mmm, mm life is good.

right now i'm lying down on the couch with my sweet linds. our belly's are full from the delicious banana pancakes our roommate just made us. om nom nom. we're all just hanging out, and listening to some relaxing jack johnson. lazy sunday. my favorite. 

so much has gone on this week. classes started up, and i'm happy to report that this should be a good semester school wise.

i forgot how much i love the college aspect of hanging out with my friends 24/7. our house is always buzzing with friends. that's one thing that i love here. everyone lives in houses. i live in the bridge house. my best guy friends live in the gator house. and i'm always hopping around the other houses as well. i love living in such a small community sometimes. other times it's frustrating because everyone knows about your life. but it's a fair trade i guess. 

this last week i've enjoyed so many walks and runs on the beach. the beach is my favorite place in the entire world. when i'm stressed, i can just escape there. it's such a wonderful place to just sit and think and be at peace. 

my skin is definitely not used to this hawaiian sun. aloe you are the best. and sunscreen, you are going to become my new best friend. 

i'm just feeling very blessed right now. i'll be better at updating about all the adventures out here. i'm just being lazy right now and not going into detail about what i've been up to. i'll tell ya though, it's been filled with lots of laughing :)

happy sunday.

L

hello happyness.

have i mentioned how happy i am lately?

or how much i've smiled lately?

or how much i've laughed lately?

hawaii, you are grand :)

hello relaxation.

last night i spent a fun night at the gator house. my friends steven, dave, kenneth, jordan, and sonny all live there. they made a documentary/movie about their house and some of the things they did this summer. i was dying laughing the entire time. those boys are too funny. i'm so grateful for them all. 

when i first came out to hawaii last year i was really nervous about having alone time. but i've got the beach. so it's nice to sneak off and just walk along the beach and think. it's the most peaceful thing in the entire world. i can't even explain it. 

but as for today, i am currently enjoying my last day before school starts up. boo classes. 

but i must say, it has been quite enjoyable. whenever i get to hawaii, i always have the want to eat healthy. i dunno why. but we'll see how long this lasts. i'm just thankful that i don't live across from the mcdonalds this year. too tempting. 

this morning i woke up, made a delicious bowl of raspberry yogurt, granola, and sliced bananas and ate it out on my porch. i love that porch. we are developing a great love for each other. it's so fun living close to all my friends bc i constantly see someone. lindsay came out and joined me and we just sat, looked out on the ocean, and talked. i love her. great way to start the day. 

i'm so happy to be back with rach too. the whole day we have just taken turns playing and singing the guitar. as i'm writing this i am currently listening to rachel sing and play. such a beautiful thing. 

there's a million other things i could write currently. and a million other things i've done today. but i'm just in such a relaxed mood i don't really have more to say other than, 

life is good.

xoxo

L

hello better life.

i made myself a promise when i got on that last airplane to hawaii. i told myself that i was getting on and never looking back. and ever since i've gotten off that airplane and stepped out onto this beautiful state i've had a huge smile on my face that i can't seem to get rid of :)

as i headed to baggage claim i waited for my two suitcases to come down the carousel. i got my first bag without any problem. then the second one comes around and of course, it is completely surrounded by other suitcases and high up. i make an attempt to grab it but there was no way it was happening. embarrassing. yes i was that girl that couldn't get her bag. the girl i normally laugh at at the airport. i then thought out a strategic plan of how i was going to get it when it came around the second time, bc i knew if i missed it this time i might as well just give up. it comes around, and after walking almost halfway around following it and trying to grab it i was finally successful! i then turn around to see that my other luggage was gone. after a quick few panicking moments i then saw steven and rachel around the corner laughing. relieved, i ran up to them and gave them the biggest hugs. i was so unbelievably happy to see them. 

the rest of the day consisted of me getting moved in to my amazing new house. and seeing tons of friends that i haven't seen in 5 months. overjoyed. i honestly have not felt so great in months. my cheeks hurt from all this smiling, but i'm not complaining :) 

went for a walk on the beach last night with rachel. even though i've already lived here for a year yet i am still so amazed by the beauty of this place. today has been filled with some quality beach time. i have turned a quality shade of red. success. i also went to walmart and costco to stock up on lots of stuff. driving around this amazing island is just breathtaking. i have the greatest friends here :) i love just sitting out on our porch with rachel playing guitar and singing. that's something that i have missed so much. 

well i'll update more later, but there's a quick version of everything. 

i'm happy.

L

hello hawaii.

i am back in hawaii. and i want to rant on and on about how absolutely amazing it is but i am absolutely dead tired. i needed this though. i haven't felt so great in one day in so long. thank you hawaii. 

xoxo

L

hello that time.

it's that time of the year again. time to pack my life up into two very seemingly small suitcases and travel 5000 miles across the country to the lovely state of hawaii. and honestly, i couldn't be more ready. i'm obviously going to miss my parents and my friends. but i know i need a change desperately. i need sunshine. i need the sand between my toes. i need uplifting, happy people. i need hawaii. 

this summer will definitely go down in the record books as the worst summer ever. and no, i'm not being dramatic about that statement. but what can i say, ya win some ya lose some right? i just hope my luck turns around once i get on that airplane because i can't handle any more losses. i know this next semester is going to be a tough one. just this time in my life, it's filled with so many choices that really do affect my future. but i'm anxious to move on to bigger and better things. i'm done dealing with people that aren't kind. i'm sick of investing my heart and friendship into others when they don't care as much in return. so it's time to make some changes for myself. i'm only surrounding myself with kind and loving people. the rest, buhh byee. this summer was quite the whirl wind. i wish i could sit here and say that i've learned a lot from it all. but honestly, i haven't. what have i learned? that the world is harsh? that people suck? that you should trust no one? no. i don't think that was the lesson for me to learn this summer. i would like to still believe that there is a common good in the people of today. 

but time heals all. and one day there will be an answer for it all. at least it's comforting to know that there's this little thing called karma :)

tomorrow morning, i am getting on that airplane and never looking back. 

xoxo

L

hello stranger.

today i met this lady with my dad. i've never met her before. she's never met me. and all she knows about me is that i'm my father's daughter. as my dad was finishing up talking to her husband, she started to talk to me. she looked at me and told me how i look like i'm emotionally drained. ummm... how exactly do i respond to that? is it that obvious? do i have bags under my eyes or something? i stood there so confused and somewhat taken back that this stranger said this to me. she then continued to say how she could tell that i was a loving person. a type of person that gives and gives to others. the type of person that loves unconditionally. she told me that the world needed more people like me. and finally she asked if she could give me a piece of advice. i said she could go ahead and she said, "only let people who are worthy of you and deserve you in your life."

i was so taken back and i stood there almost in shock that this stranger is acting as a psychic right now. i thanked her as my eyes filled up with tears. she embraced me with a huge hug and told me that i was too young and pretty to be unhappy. 

writing this down i'm still amazed that after talking to this lady for one minute i felt as if she knew my whole life story. she knew me. i'm thankful though that she reached out to me. that she said what she did. and i'm definitely going to take her advice to heart. 

xo

L

hello alyssa.

please meet my friend alyssa.

have you ever had that friend that you absolutely love. and you guys act like the best of friends when you're together. yet you guys have never actually hung out a ton and aren't technically best friends? but it's almost like they're the best friend you never had? and you know you can trust them. you respect them. you love them. well i'm not sure if that description makes any sense. but i think that's how i would best describe alyssa and myself. 

well this lovely doll is currently living it up in new york and fulfilling her dreams in the fashion industry. and i'm just so unbelievably proud of everything she's done already. i just had to blog about it and share her with all my friends that don't know her. she's quite the gem. here's her spectacular blog if you want to read up about the fabulous adventures of her fast-paced city life. she's going to be famous. and believe me when i say it'll be sooner rather than later. besides her amazing fashion (and i might add music) tastes, she's also got one amazing heart. she is hands down one of the kindest girls i've ever met and she deserves only the best. she's always been such a wonderful friend to me and i couldn't be more grateful to have her in my life. i admire her drive to work hard for what she wants. and the joy she gets out of it all.  

it's so awesome to see friends doing such amazing things with their lives. i can't wait to see what's in store for this next year alone. 

love you alyssa. can't wait to see what unfolds for you next.

xoxo

L

p.s. i know i probably could have picked a more fashionable picture of us, but i just couldn't help myself hehe :)

hello ideas.

remember that there are always cupcakes.

xoxo

L

hello inspiration.

rock bottom became the solid foundation on which i rebuilt my life.

j.k. rowling 

hello wise words.

i received an unexpected message from an old friend today. randomly they sent me,

You are making a difference. And you are changing the world. Don't let anybody ever make you feel or tell you differently. 

to hear someone take the time to send that to me was quite possibly one of the most encouraging things i could ever hear. i sure hope i am making a difference. i hope i am influencing someone for the better. i hope i am making changes to help make the world a better place. 

thank you friend. hearing that was such an unexpected and sweet note to read.

L

hello dance moves.

now presenting, the one & only, drew and shay just dance experience.

coming soon to a theater near you.

L

hello fall.

i love fall. there's something about walking outside and seeing the leaves change color and the temperature drop that makes me so happy. fall and i have always had a good relationship. i know i absolutely hate the cold. but fall treats me so well that i can't deny how much i love it. i don't know when it happens specifically, but there comes a day when you walk outside and you can just feel it. fall is here.  i feel it. 

i love the changing of the leaves. it's as if the past months are fading and then as winter comes the leaves drop and there's a chance for something new. something different. and even though i'm not a tree and i don't have leaves. fall still brings me the same feeling that there's a chance for change. and i am so beyond ready for that change. 

L

hello quotes for the day.

i believe in christ like i believe in the sun.

not because i can see it, but by it i can see everything else.

c.s. lewis 

do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway.

eleanor roosevelt

for i know the plans i have for you, declares the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

jeremiah 29:11

you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

winnie the pooh

remember to breathe.

rereading these over and over.

breathe.

tomorrow will be a better day.

breathe.

the pain will go away one day.

breathe.

L

hello rainy sunday.

ya know those simple things in life that make you happy? 

a random person giving you a complement.

realizing something's on sale upon checkout.

getting a funny text from a friend.

well one of the little things that i love are rainy sundays. i just find something so satisfying about waking up on a sunday morning to see the room filled with that gloomish lighting and hear the sound of raindrops falling off the trees. monday mornings, it doesn't have the same affect. saturday's, nope. only on sundays. maybe that's because sunday has been classified as my lazy day. 

well today i woke up to that wonderful feeling. i then went to atlanta with brittany and neelam to visit grace at ga state. going to atlanta is always quite the experience. it's only about 20 minutes away, which is nice. there are some things in life that i think will always stay the same. one of those being brittany freaking out in atl. she loves the homeless people ;) i always laugh when i see that we enter a sketch area and i immediately hear the car door lock. and it's funny too because neelam is probably the complete opposite and will carry on long conversations with the homeless people. 

the highlight of the trip though had to be when we entered greek village. there's a gate and visitors have to show their visitor pass to the security guard. neelam holds her visitor pass and puts her arm through the gate so that the security guard could see it. she then pulls her hand out of the gate and backs up, then immediately she reaches to show the guard her pass again because she thought he didn't see it. just as she moves forward to show him again, he hits the button to open the automatic gate. the metal gate swings straight towards neelam's head and BANG. contact made. and i don't mean this gate lightly hit her. i'm talking about a full on collision almost knocking neelam off her feet. the guard ran out of his office to make sure neelam was okay. brittany and i were on the ground laughing so hard. and neelam just stood in shock about what had just happened. once we finally got through the gate and regained our composure, we looked at neelam's head. yup, she indeed had a huge welt on her head. probably the size of an egg! we got her an ice pack and all was well. she took it like a champ. but just thinking about it all again i can't stop laughing. like i said, atlanta is always quite the experience. 

that was the last time the four of us will be together until the end of december :( goodbye's are never fun. wish i could just pack them all in my suitcase. 

L

hello outlets.

went to the outlets today with my mom. had to take advantage of those labor day sales. 

i think we did a good amount of damage to our bank accounts... whoops. 

however, the perks of back to school shopping for me = all summer clothing on sale. 

it's crazy to think how soon i'm leaving. hanging out with my mom all day made me realize how not ready to leave i am. saying goodbye for such long periods of time just sucks. plain and simple. 

L

hello game day.

college football has officially begun and i couldn't be more excited! i really wish that my school had a football team and that i got to get the whole game day experience. but at the same time... i live in hawaii. so i guess that's a fair trade. i've never really had a team to root for growing up. yeah i've always had byu but to be honest, i've never really cared much haha. then a couple of years ago i discovered the university of south carolina and all the amazingness of that school. we fell in love ;) so even though i don't go to that school, that's my team. i love the gamecocks. i've never felt like uga is my team even though i've grown up in georgia. sorry about it. and ever since i've been living in hawaii i've kind of adopted the warriors to be one of my teams as well. i guess i never realized how huge football is in the south, until i left. and after being away from it all for a year, i really miss it. yup, i know.. it's just a game. but no matter what i'll still be their number one fan from behind the bench. tonight the season started off great with a win for all my teams, so let the excitement begin. 

oh and i'm just saying... the gamecocks are going to kill it this year. 

L

hello mr.handsome.

i miss my monster.

and all his smiles.

and all his laughter.

and all his love.

hello wonder.

hello ecp.

this summer i had the opportunity to work at a daycare center.

most people get a summer job working as a lifeguard at the nearby pool. a nanny getting paid to watch 1-2 kids and enjoying the luxury of raiding the pantry. or possibly working at the local pizza restaurant as a waiter.

i worked all summer with about sixteen 2-year olds all day.

and i loved it.

these kids all have a special place in my heart. i'm not saying this job was easy at all, because it wasn't. but was it worth it? most definitely. i know i was the teacher for these kids, but they're the ones that really taught me this summer. they taught me to be fearless. to love. to forgive quickly. to smile at the little things. to run around the room acting like a dinosaur and it being perfectly okay. (it's okay to do that outside of the daycare center right?) 

not a day went by this summer where these kids couldn't make me smile. even on some of the worst days of my life, they still managed to make them a little better. and because of that i am forever grateful to these darling kiddies. 

i love you guys.

i miss you already.

oh and one more thing, don't think that i'm ready to have kids now by any means... this job was by far the best birth control anyone could ask for haha. but when the time is ready, i feel more confident that i won't fail as a mom. love you guys forever.

xo 

L

hello excitement.

i think i have a better grasp on what i want to do with my life!

this is going to consist of major changes.

yes, i mean big changes, but also literally changing my major?

transferring to a new school?

traveling?

but mainly, taking risks.

i'm 19. still so young. but this is the time to take risks and do something crazy. 

and the excitement is growing.

i'll keep you folks updated when i figure out more about what might possibly happen.

but as for now, i plan on changing the world.

L

hello adele.

watched the vma's tonight and yet again, i continue to be amazed by the wonderful adele. her voice is absolutely stunning and oh so soothing to listen to. tears filled my eyes as i watched her singing this song so gracefully. i wish i had the affect of being able to stand on stage and touch and move millions with my words and my voice. 

maybe one day. 

hello paying it forward.

we live in a cruel world. full of mean people. full of cheaters. liars. fakes. and backstabbers. 

but with that being said, we also live in a world full of kind-hearted people. people seeking good for others. and i think we need to focus on the good people in our lives and in the world. and focus on making ourselves better people. 

lately i've been trying harder to focus my efforts on other people. doing nice things for others. ever heard of the term pay it forward? it's when others do something kind for you, you in turn do something kind to someone else. i've had a lot of kind and wonderful people reach out to me lately, so i realized that it's about time that i do something kind for someone else. i've made a goal to do something nice for someone else every day. whether a stranger or a friend. no matter little or large the deed, something. 

there's no need for me to say what i've done or plan to do, after all, they're supposed to be anonymous deeds right? but, i will share with you one of them. today i grabbed some wendy's for dinner. while going through the drive through, i decided to pay for the stranger behind me in the drive-through line. when i told the cashier that i wanted to do so, he gave me the strangest look haha. "umm..sure?" i laughed and handed him the money. he replied by laughing in a bit of surprise and said, "do you know him?" "nope" "you're just doing it to be nice?" i smiled again, "just paying it forward" he smiled and replied, "wow, you're really nice" i laughed and as i drove off i took a quick glimpse in my rear view mirror to see the surprised look on the man's face in the car behind me. i hope he pays it forward now. i know paying for someones meal at a fast food restaurant isn't the biggest thing in the world, but it's better than nothing. and hopefully it's big enough that it made someone else smile. who knows what that stranger is dealing with in their life today.

so if you're reading this right now, pay it forward. do something nice for someone else.
it doesn't take that long to do something nice.
and it could make all the difference for someone else.
xo
L

hello hayden.

so there's this boy... :)

his name is hayden.

very charming.

extremely handsome.

can always make me smile.

gives the best hugs and kisses.

age 3.

i'm so happy that i've had my nephew around to make me smile. i've definitely needed him the last little while. tonight my family went to brusters after dinner for my dad's birthday. while we were waiting in line, trying to figure out what to get, hayden began to dance. and when i say dance, i don't mean just move his hips a little. i mean he went all out, breaking it down, head to toe. no shame of course. from the robot, to acting like a ninja, he went all out for a solid 10 minutes. everyone around couldn't help but smile and stare at this adorable kid, including myself.

this all got me thinking. how great it was to be 3 and have no shame. not a care in the world. the worst of our problems was being forced to eat our vegetables at dinner. i wish i could remember just how wonderful it was to be 3 and not have a care. which lead me to my next thought. why not act 3 for a little while? i have the rest of my life to settle down. now is the time to be crazy. to dance in line at brusters with my 3-year-old nephew. to travel. to take risks. to do whatever i want, even when it doesn't make sense. to live. 

so who cares if my sister and my parents spent the car ride home annoyed at hayden and i for screaming way too loud, laughing way too hard, and my 19-year-old self acting like i was 3 for a little while. at least i was smiling, and i know my family was happy to see that again. 

i don't want to settle down anytime soon. there are so many things i want to do. i want to get out of my comfort zone. i want to learn more about this crazy world and the life we live in. i want to find happiness again. and i think this 3-year-old is a great example of it.

L

hello kindness

there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

get over your hill and see, what you find there.

with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

mumford & sons is seriously the best. ya know how everyone always says how taylor swift writes the story of their life? well i'm pretty sure mumford & sons writes all their songs for me. 

one day at a time. holding onto the hope that i will get over this hill.

if you're reading this right now, do something nice for someone else today. you never know what someone else is going through. even if you think you do, i can promise that you never know the full extent. and the little things can make the biggest difference. 

"be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" -plato

L

hello sunday.

happy sunday to you all.

sunday's typically consist of being lazy, for me at least, and most everyone else too i think..

so that means today consisted of church, playing monsters vs. knights with hayden, playing lots of guitar, and looking up new music. 

my current favorite, alex winston. 

enjoy

xo

L

hello loss.

ever have those days where it seriously feels like it takes everything you have to get through it?
well i feel like i've been running a marathon for weeks now.

L

hello e.e.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)


e.e. cummings 

hello bucket list.

i've always had a bucket list written down of things i want to do before i die. and i was looking at my wonderful friend nichel's blog the other day and saw that she posted her bucket list on her blog which i loved. so i decided to do the same incase any one is interested. it's posted on the side bar and it will probably expand more as the days, weeks, and months go by. if you haven't made a bucket list, i think ya should.

thanks neesh for the idea, oh and i had to steal one of your ideas for my own list (: love it and love you

figured i'd share a fav video for the day, enjoy

L

hello simplicity.

today was simple. 

nothing extraordinary. 

i woke up to an empty house. parents already gone to fulfill their daily routines. i spent my day at work surrounded by 2-year-olds. returned home to an empty house. and spent the evening lying on my friends bed talking about the random things of life. 

simple.

it's all very simple.

but simple is okay. because finding the extra something out of those ordinary moments are what make each day special. each day extraordinary. 

because it was those extraordinary moments like hearing my nephews voice on the phone, telling me he loves me.

the extraordinary moment when the 2-year-old boy at my work runs to my side to give me a huge hug when i walk through the door.

the extraordinary moment when that good song came on the radio and i belted out those words, successfully hitting that high note.

it's all very simple. 

very ordinary.

yet, life... that's what is so extraordinary. 

so today i consider myself blessed because today i lived, 

and that is in no way just ordinary.

hello clarity.

i'm sitting here with a million thoughts scrambling through my head. yet, as my hands lay on the keyboard i'm at a loss for what to write. i guess i'm trying to find some clarity. 

clarity clar·i·ty [klar-i-tee] noun: clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. 

i love that definition. freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. i need that freedom. i need to understand. but in life things aren't always crystal clear. and when things are a little foggy, or blurred, i think that's where we turn to God. because i believe he is the only one that can clarify anything. after all, isn't he the one that knows all? 

so i've been trying to get some clarity. but it's probably the most confusing thing. it's just like when it rains and you're driving in your car. when you look out the window everything is blurred. you can halfway see what is out there. but it's not entirely clear. but when we use our windshield wipers, it can become clear again. weird connection i know, but stay with me on this. well it's our choice on whether or not we use our windshield wipers right? they are always there for us, and we decide when to use them. i think it's the same way with God. he is always there for us. but we are the ones that decide when to use him. i think a lot of the times though we come to him during trials. but it shouldn't be that way. we should always have him apart of our lives and always turn to him. yes, i know we shouldn't use our windshield wipers on a perfectly sunny day haha. but i think you guys know what i'm trying to say here. 

so right now things are a little blurred on my window. i'm trying really hard to stay strong but i'm desperately searching for some clarity. 

some peace of mind.

some understanding.

some freedom from all this.

some hope.

Psalm 34:18

hello hope.

trying to find peace these days is like trying to find a cure for cancer. 

nearly impossible, but there's still a hope. 

that hope is what i'm clinging onto right now. i've always believed that having hope during tribulations is very important. because that hope is what gets you through.

today my hope is that i find some peace.

i hope that i can bring someone else some peace.

i hope that God will give me the strength i desperately need right now.

i hope that others will try harder to be kind to each other.

i hope that my prayers will be answered.

i hope that i can be happy.

i hope that i can be good enough for someone one day.

i hope that a cure for cancer will be found.

i hope that i can find some peace.

i guess that's all i can do right now. cling onto the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. 

2 Corinthians 1:4-7

hello valley.

i'm not really sure why bad things happen to good people.
or why good people do bad things.
i guess life is a constant struggle between good and bad.
but why?

since i was a little kid i've been taught to be kind to others. good.
i've been taught that sharing is caring. good.
i've been taught to say please and thank you. good.
i've also been taught to not steal gum from the grocery store. bad.
i've been taught to not yell at others. bad.
i've been taught that fighting is never the answer. bad.

yet here i am, 19 years old and life is still a constant struggle between good and bad.

i don't know why good people do bad things. i can understand good people making mistakes. but i can't understand why good people do bad things. i never want to hurt others. so why do other people hurt me? why have i hurt others in the past? i've learned from my mistakes though. and i've grown from them. my mistakes make me who i am today. when i was 5 years old and i stole gum from the grocery store i learned that that was a very bad thing to do. and i never did it again. i learn from my friends mistakes as well.

so if we as human beings in society have the ability to learn from other peoples mistakes, then why do we still do bad things? i just don't understand.

a friend told me a lesson she heard about how sometimes God wants us to get to a higher peak. however in order to get to the next peak, we must go down a valley. but if we have the knowledge that after we get through that valley the next peak will be so much higher than before, then we can have hope. those valleys will be hard. they will hurt. they will test us. but the next peak will be such a great reward.

so why do good people to bad things?
why do bad things happen to good people?
i can't answer that question because i don't know why. we make choices on our own and those choices are what hurt people. but as for now i need to hold onto the hope that i can get through any valley that comes my way.

1 Peter 5:10

hello 16-year-old me.

dear 16-year-old me,
you don't need to keep your hair so long, i promise it'll still look good and long with a few more inches cut off.
dear 16-year-old me,
hold onto your friendships, bc they will mean the world later on.
dear 16-year-old me,
make more of an effort to hang out with your parents, bc you won't have many more years left at home.
dear 16-year-old me,
start pursuing what you're passionate about now.
dear 16-year-old me,
having a boyfriend is not the most important thing in the world.
dear 16-year-old me,
the SAT and ACT are really stupid, so don't let it get you down if you don't do well. (you're still going to get accepted to every college you apply to)
dear 16-year-old me,
don't go to the tanning bed. yes, you look better with a tan, but it's going to double my chances of getting melanoma.
dear 16-year-old me,
please use sun screen. a little is better than nothing.
dear 16-year-old me,
when you're 19 you'll go to the doctor to get a spot checked out on your nose. she'll say the word skin cancer and you'll block everything else out as that pit in your stomach grows.
dear 16-year-old me,
don't be scared. this isn't about being scared. it's about being informed.
dear 16-year-old me,
she'll give you lots of information and explain how this time she can burn it off and it should be okay. but she'll also explain to you how you're chances of having more are now likely. she'll explain to you the need to be more careful in the sun.
dear 16-year-old me,
this is not melanoma. but this is a warning.
dear 16-year-old me,
i know you love being tan, but don't worry, you will end up going to college in hawaii and you can be tan year round. so don't be so careless about your skin now. it is important to be the most cautious when you are younger.
dear 16-year-old me,
i know you're not actually going to see this, but someone else will and maybe they will be more careful.
dear someone else,
please be careful. use sunscreen. i promise you, sunscreen is much better than cancer.

hello work.

i work at a daycare center with 2-year-olds.

the other day i was playing an instrument and making up a song with the last two kids waiting to be picked up. in my dandy little song i made up, i sung, "i love camp!" i then turned to the kids and asked them what they loved? without hesitation the little girl turned to me and replied, "Jesus!"

no, this is not a christian camp.

yes, my heart just about melted. 

L

hello beauty.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children.. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.. 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32. 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: *In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? *Do we stop to appreciate it? *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. How many other things are we missing?