hello ecp.

this summer i had the opportunity to work at a daycare center.

most people get a summer job working as a lifeguard at the nearby pool. a nanny getting paid to watch 1-2 kids and enjoying the luxury of raiding the pantry. or possibly working at the local pizza restaurant as a waiter.

i worked all summer with about sixteen 2-year olds all day.

and i loved it.

these kids all have a special place in my heart. i'm not saying this job was easy at all, because it wasn't. but was it worth it? most definitely. i know i was the teacher for these kids, but they're the ones that really taught me this summer. they taught me to be fearless. to love. to forgive quickly. to smile at the little things. to run around the room acting like a dinosaur and it being perfectly okay. (it's okay to do that outside of the daycare center right?) 

not a day went by this summer where these kids couldn't make me smile. even on some of the worst days of my life, they still managed to make them a little better. and because of that i am forever grateful to these darling kiddies. 

i love you guys.

i miss you already.

oh and one more thing, don't think that i'm ready to have kids now by any means... this job was by far the best birth control anyone could ask for haha. but when the time is ready, i feel more confident that i won't fail as a mom. love you guys forever.

xo 

L

hello excitement.

i think i have a better grasp on what i want to do with my life!

this is going to consist of major changes.

yes, i mean big changes, but also literally changing my major?

transferring to a new school?

traveling?

but mainly, taking risks.

i'm 19. still so young. but this is the time to take risks and do something crazy. 

and the excitement is growing.

i'll keep you folks updated when i figure out more about what might possibly happen.

but as for now, i plan on changing the world.

L

hello adele.

watched the vma's tonight and yet again, i continue to be amazed by the wonderful adele. her voice is absolutely stunning and oh so soothing to listen to. tears filled my eyes as i watched her singing this song so gracefully. i wish i had the affect of being able to stand on stage and touch and move millions with my words and my voice. 

maybe one day. 

hello paying it forward.

we live in a cruel world. full of mean people. full of cheaters. liars. fakes. and backstabbers. 

but with that being said, we also live in a world full of kind-hearted people. people seeking good for others. and i think we need to focus on the good people in our lives and in the world. and focus on making ourselves better people. 

lately i've been trying harder to focus my efforts on other people. doing nice things for others. ever heard of the term pay it forward? it's when others do something kind for you, you in turn do something kind to someone else. i've had a lot of kind and wonderful people reach out to me lately, so i realized that it's about time that i do something kind for someone else. i've made a goal to do something nice for someone else every day. whether a stranger or a friend. no matter little or large the deed, something. 

there's no need for me to say what i've done or plan to do, after all, they're supposed to be anonymous deeds right? but, i will share with you one of them. today i grabbed some wendy's for dinner. while going through the drive through, i decided to pay for the stranger behind me in the drive-through line. when i told the cashier that i wanted to do so, he gave me the strangest look haha. "umm..sure?" i laughed and handed him the money. he replied by laughing in a bit of surprise and said, "do you know him?" "nope" "you're just doing it to be nice?" i smiled again, "just paying it forward" he smiled and replied, "wow, you're really nice" i laughed and as i drove off i took a quick glimpse in my rear view mirror to see the surprised look on the man's face in the car behind me. i hope he pays it forward now. i know paying for someones meal at a fast food restaurant isn't the biggest thing in the world, but it's better than nothing. and hopefully it's big enough that it made someone else smile. who knows what that stranger is dealing with in their life today.

so if you're reading this right now, pay it forward. do something nice for someone else.
it doesn't take that long to do something nice.
and it could make all the difference for someone else.
xo
L

hello hayden.

so there's this boy... :)

his name is hayden.

very charming.

extremely handsome.

can always make me smile.

gives the best hugs and kisses.

age 3.

i'm so happy that i've had my nephew around to make me smile. i've definitely needed him the last little while. tonight my family went to brusters after dinner for my dad's birthday. while we were waiting in line, trying to figure out what to get, hayden began to dance. and when i say dance, i don't mean just move his hips a little. i mean he went all out, breaking it down, head to toe. no shame of course. from the robot, to acting like a ninja, he went all out for a solid 10 minutes. everyone around couldn't help but smile and stare at this adorable kid, including myself.

this all got me thinking. how great it was to be 3 and have no shame. not a care in the world. the worst of our problems was being forced to eat our vegetables at dinner. i wish i could remember just how wonderful it was to be 3 and not have a care. which lead me to my next thought. why not act 3 for a little while? i have the rest of my life to settle down. now is the time to be crazy. to dance in line at brusters with my 3-year-old nephew. to travel. to take risks. to do whatever i want, even when it doesn't make sense. to live. 

so who cares if my sister and my parents spent the car ride home annoyed at hayden and i for screaming way too loud, laughing way too hard, and my 19-year-old self acting like i was 3 for a little while. at least i was smiling, and i know my family was happy to see that again. 

i don't want to settle down anytime soon. there are so many things i want to do. i want to get out of my comfort zone. i want to learn more about this crazy world and the life we live in. i want to find happiness again. and i think this 3-year-old is a great example of it.

L

hello kindness

there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

get over your hill and see, what you find there.

with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

mumford & sons is seriously the best. ya know how everyone always says how taylor swift writes the story of their life? well i'm pretty sure mumford & sons writes all their songs for me. 

one day at a time. holding onto the hope that i will get over this hill.

if you're reading this right now, do something nice for someone else today. you never know what someone else is going through. even if you think you do, i can promise that you never know the full extent. and the little things can make the biggest difference. 

"be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" -plato

L

hello sunday.

happy sunday to you all.

sunday's typically consist of being lazy, for me at least, and most everyone else too i think..

so that means today consisted of church, playing monsters vs. knights with hayden, playing lots of guitar, and looking up new music. 

my current favorite, alex winston. 

enjoy

xo

L

hello loss.

ever have those days where it seriously feels like it takes everything you have to get through it?
well i feel like i've been running a marathon for weeks now.

L

hello e.e.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)


e.e. cummings 

hello bucket list.

i've always had a bucket list written down of things i want to do before i die. and i was looking at my wonderful friend nichel's blog the other day and saw that she posted her bucket list on her blog which i loved. so i decided to do the same incase any one is interested. it's posted on the side bar and it will probably expand more as the days, weeks, and months go by. if you haven't made a bucket list, i think ya should.

thanks neesh for the idea, oh and i had to steal one of your ideas for my own list (: love it and love you

figured i'd share a fav video for the day, enjoy

L

hello simplicity.

today was simple. 

nothing extraordinary. 

i woke up to an empty house. parents already gone to fulfill their daily routines. i spent my day at work surrounded by 2-year-olds. returned home to an empty house. and spent the evening lying on my friends bed talking about the random things of life. 

simple.

it's all very simple.

but simple is okay. because finding the extra something out of those ordinary moments are what make each day special. each day extraordinary. 

because it was those extraordinary moments like hearing my nephews voice on the phone, telling me he loves me.

the extraordinary moment when the 2-year-old boy at my work runs to my side to give me a huge hug when i walk through the door.

the extraordinary moment when that good song came on the radio and i belted out those words, successfully hitting that high note.

it's all very simple. 

very ordinary.

yet, life... that's what is so extraordinary. 

so today i consider myself blessed because today i lived, 

and that is in no way just ordinary.

hello clarity.

i'm sitting here with a million thoughts scrambling through my head. yet, as my hands lay on the keyboard i'm at a loss for what to write. i guess i'm trying to find some clarity. 

clarity clar·i·ty [klar-i-tee] noun: clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. 

i love that definition. freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. i need that freedom. i need to understand. but in life things aren't always crystal clear. and when things are a little foggy, or blurred, i think that's where we turn to God. because i believe he is the only one that can clarify anything. after all, isn't he the one that knows all? 

so i've been trying to get some clarity. but it's probably the most confusing thing. it's just like when it rains and you're driving in your car. when you look out the window everything is blurred. you can halfway see what is out there. but it's not entirely clear. but when we use our windshield wipers, it can become clear again. weird connection i know, but stay with me on this. well it's our choice on whether or not we use our windshield wipers right? they are always there for us, and we decide when to use them. i think it's the same way with God. he is always there for us. but we are the ones that decide when to use him. i think a lot of the times though we come to him during trials. but it shouldn't be that way. we should always have him apart of our lives and always turn to him. yes, i know we shouldn't use our windshield wipers on a perfectly sunny day haha. but i think you guys know what i'm trying to say here. 

so right now things are a little blurred on my window. i'm trying really hard to stay strong but i'm desperately searching for some clarity. 

some peace of mind.

some understanding.

some freedom from all this.

some hope.

Psalm 34:18

hello hope.

trying to find peace these days is like trying to find a cure for cancer. 

nearly impossible, but there's still a hope. 

that hope is what i'm clinging onto right now. i've always believed that having hope during tribulations is very important. because that hope is what gets you through.

today my hope is that i find some peace.

i hope that i can bring someone else some peace.

i hope that God will give me the strength i desperately need right now.

i hope that others will try harder to be kind to each other.

i hope that my prayers will be answered.

i hope that i can be happy.

i hope that i can be good enough for someone one day.

i hope that a cure for cancer will be found.

i hope that i can find some peace.

i guess that's all i can do right now. cling onto the hope that tomorrow will be a better day. 

2 Corinthians 1:4-7

hello valley.

i'm not really sure why bad things happen to good people.
or why good people do bad things.
i guess life is a constant struggle between good and bad.
but why?

since i was a little kid i've been taught to be kind to others. good.
i've been taught that sharing is caring. good.
i've been taught to say please and thank you. good.
i've also been taught to not steal gum from the grocery store. bad.
i've been taught to not yell at others. bad.
i've been taught that fighting is never the answer. bad.

yet here i am, 19 years old and life is still a constant struggle between good and bad.

i don't know why good people do bad things. i can understand good people making mistakes. but i can't understand why good people do bad things. i never want to hurt others. so why do other people hurt me? why have i hurt others in the past? i've learned from my mistakes though. and i've grown from them. my mistakes make me who i am today. when i was 5 years old and i stole gum from the grocery store i learned that that was a very bad thing to do. and i never did it again. i learn from my friends mistakes as well.

so if we as human beings in society have the ability to learn from other peoples mistakes, then why do we still do bad things? i just don't understand.

a friend told me a lesson she heard about how sometimes God wants us to get to a higher peak. however in order to get to the next peak, we must go down a valley. but if we have the knowledge that after we get through that valley the next peak will be so much higher than before, then we can have hope. those valleys will be hard. they will hurt. they will test us. but the next peak will be such a great reward.

so why do good people to bad things?
why do bad things happen to good people?
i can't answer that question because i don't know why. we make choices on our own and those choices are what hurt people. but as for now i need to hold onto the hope that i can get through any valley that comes my way.

1 Peter 5:10

hello 16-year-old me.

dear 16-year-old me,
you don't need to keep your hair so long, i promise it'll still look good and long with a few more inches cut off.
dear 16-year-old me,
hold onto your friendships, bc they will mean the world later on.
dear 16-year-old me,
make more of an effort to hang out with your parents, bc you won't have many more years left at home.
dear 16-year-old me,
start pursuing what you're passionate about now.
dear 16-year-old me,
having a boyfriend is not the most important thing in the world.
dear 16-year-old me,
the SAT and ACT are really stupid, so don't let it get you down if you don't do well. (you're still going to get accepted to every college you apply to)
dear 16-year-old me,
don't go to the tanning bed. yes, you look better with a tan, but it's going to double my chances of getting melanoma.
dear 16-year-old me,
please use sun screen. a little is better than nothing.
dear 16-year-old me,
when you're 19 you'll go to the doctor to get a spot checked out on your nose. she'll say the word skin cancer and you'll block everything else out as that pit in your stomach grows.
dear 16-year-old me,
don't be scared. this isn't about being scared. it's about being informed.
dear 16-year-old me,
she'll give you lots of information and explain how this time she can burn it off and it should be okay. but she'll also explain to you how you're chances of having more are now likely. she'll explain to you the need to be more careful in the sun.
dear 16-year-old me,
this is not melanoma. but this is a warning.
dear 16-year-old me,
i know you love being tan, but don't worry, you will end up going to college in hawaii and you can be tan year round. so don't be so careless about your skin now. it is important to be the most cautious when you are younger.
dear 16-year-old me,
i know you're not actually going to see this, but someone else will and maybe they will be more careful.
dear someone else,
please be careful. use sunscreen. i promise you, sunscreen is much better than cancer.

hello work.

i work at a daycare center with 2-year-olds.

the other day i was playing an instrument and making up a song with the last two kids waiting to be picked up. in my dandy little song i made up, i sung, "i love camp!" i then turned to the kids and asked them what they loved? without hesitation the little girl turned to me and replied, "Jesus!"

no, this is not a christian camp.

yes, my heart just about melted. 

L

hello beauty.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children.. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.. 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32. 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: *In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? *Do we stop to appreciate it? *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. How many other things are we missing?

hello things.

so monday nights in east cobb have turned into monday night, dessert and game night. epic right?

the other week i conned my friends into the idea i had of getting everyone together every monday night during the summer and playing a game and eating dessert. when first pitching this idea to them all, most laughed, called me a mom, and quickly changed the subject. but i insisted on how it would be oh so much fun and to just give it a chance. so we had our first monday night and we all gathered to play the game things and i made pazookie. we all had a jolly time and by the end of the night our stomachs were stuffed and sore from all the laughing. 

this last monday night i brought chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches, fruit kabobs, and orange jello slices (which my friend shay changed to joranges.. and then lauranges). i'll post the recipe to joranges later for anyone interested. the others are kind of self explanatory. 

the game things is quite hilarious. i won't go into detail about how it works, but if you haven't played, you should.

things you shouldn't do in a black out

things you shouldn't dream about

things you would do if you were a giant

things you shouldn't do on a bus

things you would do if you were a dictator

things you shouldn't laugh at

david's jokes. 

my friends are great.

L

hello employment.

i'm employed! 

finally!

time to make some bank

$$$$$$

hello red velvet strawberry shortcake.

try saying that 10 times, fast. 

so lately i've been baking a lot more. i find it fun. but mostly i make things that are completely unhealthy and delicious for ya. which is really the only way to go right? well, for mothers day my mom said she wanted strawberry shortcake, so i decided to look up a cool recipe to go a little out of the box with it. this is what i came up with

and with my new found desire to bake, i decided i'd share the recipes for anyone one here wanting to give it a try. i got this recipe from i am baker. which is a great blog with lots of great desserts.

red velvet strawberry shortcake

need: 

1 package of white cake mix

1 package of red velvet cake mix

2 tubs of whipped cream 

1 carton of strawberries

directions:

make each cake mix separately, according to the directions on the box. then, pour cake mix into 9 inch round pans. (4 different pans) bake according to time on packaging. while cakes are baking, slice up strawberries. 

once cakes finish baking, take out and cool for 20 mins. then put in freezer to cool for another 15 mins (this makes it easier to handle). 

place first layer of red velvet onto a plate, spread whipped cream on top, then sprinkle sliced strawberries across. next, place layer of white cake on top and repeat steps. 

whhhaaala. its really easy and yummy. enjoy!