hello valley on high.

hello deepest depths.

i'm breaking free.

breaking free from the horror of the past.

breaking free from the pain of you.

breaking free from self doubt.

breaking free from self hurt.

i'm breaking free.

and emerging myself into the beauty of a better future. 

L

hello beauty.

i read a sad statistic today. 

based off a study spread across 10 countries, surveying 3,200 women between the ages of 18-64, only 2% consider themselves beautiful. wow. 2%. it's really saddening to see what society has classified beauty as.

the definition of beauty according to the merriam-webster dictionary is: the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. the definition itself refers to beauty within, not necessarily someones physical appearance. how sad that society has made an unwritten definition of what beauty is. and the majority of us go along with it.

so next time you're quick to judge how beautiful a person is, remember to think first. because only 2% of us believe that we're beautiful. the world doesn't need more critics. 

to find out more information about this survey click here. its called the real truth about beauty: a global report. i found it really interesting to read.

L

hello blue.

i'm falling back into one of my moods again. i'm getting a need to do some good. get involved again. there are days where i really miss not being involved with relay for life. i feel so unproductive not putting my efforts into helping a cause. so i'm excited because i'm getting involved again. i've made it a goal of mine to volunteer my time at least once a week with something. and every day i've been doing my good deed. and ooh la la, i am lovin it. 

every tuesday and thursday i enjoy my car rides to school with lindsay and beth. we make our goals for the day. "beth, what are your goals today?" "hmmm i'm going to try to day dream only for half of my class instead of the entire class." 

we're getting real productive around here.

hello beka.

while looking through old photos the other day, i stumbled upon this lovely gem. this was taken about 3-4 years ago. story behind it all: my mom was taking a picture of my sister and i. sister leaned forward. i gripped tighter to stay on. the rest should make sense. and my mom doesn't know how to work a camera so she got it on film. ohhh happy day. i miss my sister and mom so much.

hello rainy sunday.

today it rained all day. which is my absolute favorite. rainy sunday's are the best. 

so i figured i would go take pictures with my roommates and write about them on my blog so everyone knew who they were. let's begin...

this is beth. also known as bubby. she calls me cacoon. we have a very interesting relationship that i love more than anything. i think beth is the funniest person i've ever met. she always makes me smile. she thinks i need to go to fat camp but it's okay, i still love her. we write quotes on our fridge of funny things that are said, litterally i kid you not, 90% of the fridge is beth referring to me. too funny.

lauren: "oh look, How To Stay Out Of Trouble Fair, you should go to that beth!"

beth: "me?! you should. you're the one that has a crush on a married man!"

i love her.

this is lindsay. she was napping when i went around taking pictures with everyone. i love her more than anything. we give each other butterfly kisses on the daily and she's one of my bestest friends.

destiny. what a grand name right? my friend sonny says it would be awesome to marry her for 2 reasons: 1. you can say that you have a date with destiny 2. when you have kids you can say it's destiny's child. oh sonny... he's a funny one. she is probably top 5, one of the nicest girls i've ever met in my entire life. love her.

caroline. caroline is the mom of our house. which is good because without her i would not cook actual meals and only live off of mcdonalds... i personally don't see anything wrong with that but caroline tells me otherwise. she makes sure we keep our house clean and that we never run out of toilet paper. i love my mom. i would be a mess without her. we all would.

rachel. also known as racka racka. this is my baby boo. best friend. we snuggle on the reg. i love her dearly. she is quite the clumsy one and i constantly worry for her safety. i am not exaggerating when i say this. last year she got hit by a car. literally got hit by a car while she was riding her bike. i worry for this one. she is definitely blonde for a reason. but i can't help but love her for it. love her so much.

my other two roommate natalia and alexis weren't home when this picture taking was going on so i will have to write about them later. but these are the girls of the bridge house in laie, hawaii. we are currently in the works of writing a house song. should be on the radio soon.

today i am thankful for friends. friends that have become my family. friends that i can trust. friends that love me so much. new friends. i have a really tough time trusting people these days, but i know God has blessed me with these wonderful people right now for a reason. 

i am also so thankful for old friends back home. i miss those crazy people more than anything.

happy rainy sunday to you all. it was quite cozy and lovely if i do say so myself.

xoxo

L

hello jacom.

3 years ago today my family and i said goodbye to an amazing person. jacom larson. but rather than being sad all day about missing him, i'm trying to take my sister's advice and celebrate the day. celebrate the life jacom lived. celebrate life.

i wish you were still here.

i wish my sister had her true love here, her husband.

i wish hayden had a dad.

i wish i had my brother.

i wish our family was complete. 

i wish you could pin me down to the floor and tickle me again.

but you're gone and 3 years later i still have a really tough time understanding why you had to leave. it seems so unfair. i've questioned it a lot.. why do bad things happen to good people? i don't think i'll ever get any peace of mind knowing why you had to leave this earth. but i have faith that one day it will all make sense. obviously our heavenly father needed you more than we did. i know you look over all of us every day. it doesn't take away the fact that i miss you always though. i admired you so much. i admired you and beka together. i admired what you two had. i hate the past tense. i admire what you guys have. 

it all still breaks my heart. 

i hate how whenever i hear the word cancer i immediately think of you. i don't want to connect you to your death. i want to connect you to the amazing life you lived and the wonderful and fun times we all shared with you. so i'm going to try harder to celebrate life. celebrate your life. in the words of my sister,

"I will use October 21st as a day to remember how lucky I am to have time.  I ask that y’all join me.  Do something today that shows how blessed you are to be living.  Eat cake for dinner (and don’t feel guilty about it), stop doing work and get on the floor and play with your kids, hug and kiss your special one just a little bit more, call someone you haven’t talked to in a while, go skinny dipping, do a Chinese fire drill, take a walk outside and look at the world, turn your phone off, just do something."

i could sit here and write on and on about the things i wish could happen. but at the end of the day, i know i can't change things. it was a blessing just to have you in my life. thank you. thank you so much for loving my sister and hayden so much. thank you for loving me. i love you. forever and always. and i can't wait for that day when i get to see your smiling face again.

L

hello paradise.

i'm truly living in a paradise right now.
so sorry i've been mia from the blogging world lately. i've gotten kind of annoyed of the internet. i know, who would have thought, me of all people? but honestly it's been so nice to not be on facebook or twitter 24/7. i seriously was addicted. i'd much rather spend my time living in the moment here. living in this paradise. i am so grateful for the people God has blessed me with in my life at this time. i know 100% that i need these people in my life right now. and i am oh so thankful.
happy thursday kids.
L

hello flying high.

sunday morning.

the beauty here is breathtaking.

that afternoon i had the chance to check off something from my bucket list :)

i flew a kite on the beach!

simple, yes.

fantastic, yes.

i was one happy camper.

such a beautiful day, spent with some beautiful people.

L

hello awe and wonder.

my weekend was so wonderful. but seeing how i am behind on blogging, i'll just let the pictures do the talking.

nichel and mckenzie :)

double rainbow

my big brother

foodland extravaganza's with rachy

 sunday morning sunrise

sunday morning breakfast that rach and i made for the boys

happy birthday slex!! 

 

turtle bay fun

walking home from campus yesterday

every day here is filled with smiles and laughter. i love it. i wish i could scribble down every wonderful moment and grand ole time here. i'm blessed.

this is my family. missing linds and sonny of course. but these people are the greatest. i might add that i'm happy we finally got on camera, kenneth always admiring me ;) hahaha.

thank you hawaii for showing me happiness again.

thank you friends for being here for me. being there when i need to cry and when i need a laugh. i am infinitely grateful that you people are in my life at this given moment in time.

L

hello contentment.

this weekend was oh so wonderful. 

i'll blog about it tomorrow. 

but as for right now i'm just feeling very blessed.

very happy.

and very content with life.

these are the greatest of friends i could ask for.

L

hello the carlton.

so far today has been a good day.

i somehow managed to finish all my big school projects.

found out that my one class for tomorrow got canceled.

just ate pizza bagel bites (my fav).

going to a partyyy tonight.

all around, i'm just in a good mood.

and nothing incredible has happened to cause it.

and when i'm in a good mood, i can't help but want to bust out the carlton dance.

(watch video below)

you know after watching that, you just want to bust it out as well... don't lie.

you're welcome.

happy day to you all.

L

hello studious lauren.

boredom while trying to do my homework. 

because today has been hectic.

and school is not fun.

but the 10 minutes of studying time i wasted doing this, was totally worth it.

L

hello monday.

ever roll out of bed and wake up on the right side? as in not the wrong side? well today i definitely woke up on the right side of the bed and just began my day in such a wonderful mood. maybe it's because of this beautiful weather. because normally monday mornings are not my finest hour. 

tonight we had a bonfire at the red house and made smores. it's so nice to just always be surrounded by your friends. i've made such great friendships in the short time i've been here. i won't lie though, i'm having a really tough time learning to trust people and let people in. but i'm trying to go back to the way i used to be and give people the benefit of the doubt, and trust that there are good people out here. i know there are. i just need to get rid of the doubt and fear that everyone sucks. haha. so nice right? 

"love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

william shakespeare 

L

hello reality.

bring on the week. 

this week,

i will smile more.

i will stress less.

i will be more studious.

i will make new friends.

i will do something kind for someone else every day.

i will be less scared.

i will do something spontaneous.

i will laugh more.

and if instead everything goes downhill, i'll get a helmet.

L

hello weekend.

thank goodness for the weekend. lots of time at the beach. surprisingly i didn't get burnt this weekend. success. my parents would be so proud to know that i am using sunscreen.

saturday night i went to waikiki with some of the girls. shopping and cheesecake factory was in the plans of course. i wish i could explain why it was just so much fun, but it wouldn't make any sense. all i know is that we were pretty much cracked out. (say crack again.. crack)

lots of dancing and lots of fun. i love these kids.

we also spent a good 10 minutes laughing at that picture of linds and i below (far left). she is a funny one. i love her. and i'm so grateful for her.

oh and lets also add a thank goodness for not getting into a car crash almost 3 times. 

*warning, the driver should not dance*

this evening we had brinner. (breakfast for dinner) which is pretty much my absolute favoritest thing, ever. breakfast foods are the best. pancakes, waffles, french toast, hash browns, scrambled eggs, cinnamon rolls, doughnuts. the list goes on and on. all amazing. wow, i feel like all i ever write about is food on this blog, it's cool. fat kidz 4 lyfee. we went ova to the gator house and had a wonderful brinner. good eats with good friends. 

also had a mini gecko den reunion (middle picture below). i loved those roommates more than anything. i wish savanna was out here still. i miss her. 

also, i'm just gonna throw it out there that someone (i will not name) threw me into the ocean this fine evening. while i was wearing that 100% silk dress pictured above. rude. but fun.

rachy got home yesterday as well. she's been gone for the whole last week so it is so nice to have my roommate back. oh, and just on a side note.. bridge house gets otter pops! whoo hoo. figure 8's going everywhere. pimp house. love it. love life. love friends.
hawaii, you are too good to me.

xoxo

L

hello e.e.

couldn't have said it better.

L

hello friday.

time for the weekend. thank goodness. beach here i come. 

and this weekend my roommates and i are making this...

umm can you say, ahh-may-ZING.

can't wait.

happy friday friends :)

xo

L

hello awesome.

so i'm currently reading an awesome book. 

wait, like it really is awesome. 

and by that i mean the book is called, the book of awesome by neil pasricha. 

and i think it has become my all time, favorite book, ever.

it's a book of 1000 awesome things in life. they are all simple things, that just make your day so much better. it's just awesome. and every time i read this book i can't help but just smile or laugh because it is all so true.

if you're a little confused on what's in it, i'll elaborate. awesome things that when they happen, make your day a little better:

eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying

perfectly toasted toast

peeling that thin plastic film off of new electronics 

finding your keys after looking forever 

hitting a bunch of green lights in a row

finding out your birthday is on a friday or saturday next year

when you're awkwardly standing by yourself with a full cafeteria tray of food and suddenly spot your friend waving at you

when you get the milk-to-cereal ratio just right

squeezing through a door as it's shutting without touching it

waking up and realizing it's saturday

remembering what movie that guy is from 

perfectly popped microwave popcorn 

returning to your warm and comfy bed after getting up to pee in the middle of the night 

seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you're going the speed limit anyway 

stress level goes up.

stress level goes down.

AWESOME!

don't tell me you just read that list and didn't smile? 

awesome.

L

hello seth cohen.