hello story of a girl.

she wakes up every day feeling different. she lies in bed for a few minutes just thinking about you. she catches herself when she talks to you. sometimes she almost slips up, but she tries not to. she looks forward to the end of their conversations because she gets to say i love you. she goes to her art class and spends two hours drawing. she puts her ipod on shuffle and every song seems to remind her of you. she goes to her next class, education. she sits next to a young newlywed couple that makes her miss you so much. she misses getting hugs. not from just you but from anyone. she looks forward to the days where she helps out at the elementary school because she will receive at least one hug from those darling kindergartners. before the class is over a student plays music on her laptop for a class game. only 3 songs. only 5 minutes left of class. you would think they would be upbeat songs. but one of those songs, is one of their songs... of course. she looks down trying not to think about it or get sad but she can't help it as her eyes start to water up. thank goodness class is over. she goes to her last class of the day, english. what's the topic and theme for class today? love. they spend the class discussing and analyzing two poems about love. for the last twenty minutes the class is asked to write a short in-class paper. the topic: What Is Love? again, her eyes water up with every word she writes. counting down the minutes until class is over. finally, it's done and turned in. she bolts out of there. trying her best to avoid talking or looking at anyone. she misses him. but he's still there, which makes it better. he will always be there. they will always be there for each other. they will always love each other. and knowing that makes her day so much better. 

"I see the old photographs and I am smiling and I'm sure quite happy but what I mostly see is me

through your eyes

and I am still young and slim and very much committed to the love we still have."

-one stanza from Love in Place by Nikki Giovanni

hello r.t.p.

i love you.

forever & always.

aloha hawaii.

i figured i would switch it up with an aloha instead of hello. so this post is going to be long haha...

hawaii is beautiful. absolutely beautiful. incase you want to know, i live on oahu. oahu is a pretty popular island and it's the same island that the capital (honolulu) is on. i live in laie (la-E-A), which is about an hour from honolulu. laie is a very small town. if a want to go get food from a restaurant, my choices are mcdonalds, taco bell, pizza hut, a chinese place, and an ice cream/shave ice place. i live off campus in a house. my house is like right along the beach. as i'm writing this i can hear the waves crashing on the beach. i will say though, one thing i am not a fan of is that i don't have air conditioning. ughh. there isn't air conditioning anywhere in hawaii unless you're in a hotel, a resort, or a store. the university has air conditioning but the dorms don't and none of the houses around do. it's a lot cooler outside of my house than it is inside but i'm getting used to it and figuring out tricks for it to be cooler. 

the campus is gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous. i don't mean to brag, but i think i win the award for prettiest campus haha. i'll post pictures soon! everyone here is super nice and friendly. everyone is also very laid back which can be annoying since i'm coming from an environment that's not like that b.c sometimes i just want to know answers and people are just like 'ohh we'll figure it out later and let ya know'. but it's definitely a stress free environment. 

as for my house... the living room and the kitchen are lime green (it's a bit much), my room is lavander, the other room is a vibrant blue, the bathroom is yellow, and the house is a blue/turquoise. it's a very beachy feeling. my roommates are great! i love them all and we get along so great! one is from california, one is from texas, one is from here on oahu, and the other is from the philippines! 

classes start tomorrow and i'm actually excited. i know that sounds lame, but i'm excited to meet new people! i got a bike today so that will make it nice to get around. 

other things that are interesting about hawaii... the fire trucks and fire hydrants are yellow. everyone and everything will say aloha and mahalo instead of hello and thanks. for example, when i check out a target and i slide my card through the thing, it says 'mahalo for shopping at target'. everyone's uniforms are the button up shirts that have the tropical flowers on them. for like every store it's that way. target they're red, walmart they're blue. people toss up the hang loose hand sign like they show a smile. and everyone bikes, skateboards, or longboards. 

overall i'm doing pretty well! obviously i miss home some because i miss my friends and family but i'm trying really hard to not think about it and to just embrace the change and have fun. it really does help that it's so beautiful here haha. 

okay goals while i'm here:

1. learn how to surf

2. don't get eaten by a shark

3. meet lots of new people

4. get good grades

5. get in great shape

i'll probably think of other ones later but as for now that's about it! alright, well now that i've updated you all on the basics my other posts will be more interesting! just thought i would catch everyone up on how i'm doing! thank you to everyone who has been so kind and supportive. you have no idea how comforting and great it is when i hear everyones support. it just reaffirms that i can do all this. i love you all!! and i will hopefully have more interesting things to say later :) 

L

hello tomorrow.

it's here. i'm getting on an airplane in a few hours. i'm saying goodbye to my best friends, boyfriend, family, and dog. i'll miss my car. i'll miss driving. i'll miss being stupid with my best friends. i'll miss those sweet kisses from boyfriend. i'll miss my big bed. i'll miss being in a room alone. i'll miss my sister always giving me a hard time. i'll miss saying goodnight to my little monster and getting monster hugs from him. i'll mis cuddling with my puppy dog. i'll miss my parents always being there to help me. i'll miss humidity. i'll miss yogli mogli. i'll miss the ec. i'll miss the people. 

but...  i know i'll gain great things in return. i just have to wait to find out just what all those are. 

goodbye georgia, you've been great. i miss you already. see you december 17th. 

hello truth.

wow. it's almost here. it's right around the corner. i can't even believe it. i don't really have many words to say cause it's just so surreal. tomorrow is my last day in east cobb. the last day in georgia. the last time i have a room to my self. the last time i sleep in my big bed. the last time i'm home. the last time i get to see my sweet dogs face every day. the last time i'm in the same time zone as all my friends. the last time i'm in driving distance of everyone. the list goes on and on...

i'm scared. more like terrified. i don't want to leave. i don't want change. i hate change. but i know i need to. i know i belong there. i know it will be worth it. i know i can do it. i just wish it didn't have to be so hard. 

tomorrow is my last day in georgia until december 17th. i'm trying so hard to stay positive and enjoy these last moments and cherish these last memories. it's just so incredibly hard since i spend all my time alone thinking about everything. i don't know how i can still cry? i've cried so much this month ha. i hate having this huge pit in my stomach. i don't know how i'm going to do it. i don't know how i am physically going to say goodbye to the ones i love and step on that airplane. i'm gonna need someone to physically push me because i don't think i can do it alone.

i know that while i'm there the time will fly by. well at least i'm hoping it will ha. and i know i'll make so many great memories. it's just that i already have so many great memories here. i don't want to make new friends. i like the ones i have now. 

it's gonna be tough. but i'm going to try really hard to embrace the change instead of trying to avoid it. i'm just going to need some help because i can't do it alone. 

"i don't wanna go, but i know i gotta go."

-lights

hello society.

hello wants and needs.

i have a serious problem. 

i am obsessed with anthropologie. i can't even tell you how many hours i spend browsing their webiste. my favorite is their home section. obsessed. my house will be the anthro store. i've already decided. 

as for now here are a few things i want for my kitchen:

obviously i need an apron so i don't get dirty while cooking.

darling. i'm in love. $38.

measuring cups. so freaking cute. $36

oven mit that matches the apron. that's a must obviously. $12.

bright morning teacups. a perfect asset to the kitchen. $128. the price. ridiculous. 

sooo who wants to be a doll and get all this for me? i'm leaving for college in about a week so i'm going to need it. notice how i say need? because these are necessities. some people, aka my parents, just don't understand that these aren't wants. these are needs. especially since i'll have a kitchen that i can cook in regularly. why do i have to be so in love with anthropologie?

L