hello finals week.

it's that time again.

everyone's favorite week...

final's week.

i thought final's week in high school was stressful. just wait till college. 

i feel like for the amount of work i've been doing, my list would get smaller? nope. it still looks just as long! well luckily it looks like i'm finally starting to see an end to all of this. and the end is so, so sweet (: my reward for finishing? i get to go home!!! home, sweet home. for the very first time in months. the first time since i've left for college. and once i go home, christmas celebrating begins. b.c lets face it, as much as we try, the blow up santa down the street, the one in his swim suit, throwing up the shaka and holding a surf board, it just doesn't cut it for christmas in hawaii. 

best of luck to everyone who is still trying to get through their finals! 

hello anxiousness.

11 days.

i cannot wait.

hello waikiki.

well, this last weekend was quite eventful. i'll try and make my story brief, but here goes.

friday night me and 12 of my other friends headed down to honolulu. once we got to town we went shopping at the mall, then we walked over to the most delicious frozen yogurt place ever. it was better than yogli mogli... but not my much, so don't worry east cobbers. afterwards we ventured out to figure out how to get to our hotel. while waiting at the bus stop we become bored. so to pass time 3 of my friends decided to run out into the median of the road and they got hit by a car... haha i'm totally kidding. no regina george incidents in this story. but they did run out into the median of the road and decided to dance just for kicks. while dancing we saw a cop slowly driving up near them. we all started yelling at them to stop their booty dancing moves, but they didn't hear us and by that time it was too late because one of the girls had her butt stuck out, bouncing it righttt in the direction of the cop. needless to say, the cop lights went on, the spotlight shined, and after a few kind words from the cop, they were running back over to the bus stop to join us as we were all on the ground laughing.

next stop was getting into our hotel. 12 girls. 1 room. and just our luck, they had security guards everywhere asking for your room number, ID, and room key when you walked in. luckily we managed to find a back entrance and a few girls snuck up all our stuff. after coming back down we decided to go clubbing where we met up with a few of our guy friends. immediately upon getting there though, our group quickly split up. long story short, after we went clubbing we all met back up outside of the club and we were just talking. there were plenty of sketch people as there would be pretty much anywhere. again, long story short, a huge fight broke out and the cops came, and it turned into a huge brawl. our group decided to move away from it. just a few minutes later we got a phone call saying that one of our friends got punched in the face and now they were heading to the hospital. the minute we heard this the 4 guys that were with us booked it to find their buddy, leaving behind a group of 12 girls, alone, in waikiki, at 3 in the morning. luckily one of them stayed with us so we felt a little safer. 

the rest of the evening consisted of sneaking 12 girls into the hotel room. the next day consisted of getting lost, waiting around for hours, shopping, more getting lost, and more waiting around. when we finally got home it had been exactly 24 hours since we left. 

and that was my friday/saturday. it was definitely fun. but definitely stressful. next weekend will be more low key.

L

hello gobble, gobble.

it's that time of the year again. a time to remember how blessed we all truly are! 

THANKSGIVING.

it's funny how much things change. i never used to be that fond of thanksgiving. that sounds horrible, but it just wasn't the best holiday in my mind. the only reason was because it was always the longest day, and it was always hectic going over to my cousins house. but this year was the first year i didn't get to do any of our normal traditions and it was really sad honestly. thanksgiving has become my second favorite holiday (behind christmas of course). i took everything for granted when i was home. everything. now that i'm away i would give anything to be sitting with my family, annoyed at them haha. i didn't watch the macy's day parade with my family. i didn't help my mom cut the holes on the bag for the turkey. i didn't procrastinate going to my cousins house with my dad and sister and make us late like we always are. i didn't make a chain out of paper strips listing the things i was thankful for. i didn't play random games with my younger cousins. i didn't eat my mom's famous rolls. i didn't hide in the car with my dad from the loudness of our family after dinner. i didn't roll my eyes with my sister over how annoying some of the things my dad says can be. i didn't go to the lighting of the macy's christmas tree at lenox with neelam or anyone else. i didn't drink hot chocolate. i didn't end the night sitting by the fire. i didn't listen to christmas music at the end of the day. i didn't hug the ones i love and whisper in their ears how grateful i am for them. our traditions <3 

these are the moments i live for. the moments i miss so much. it killed me to not be home this year. but it made me so much more humble and grateful for life. 

this thanksgiving i woke up and went surfing with some friends. i made a drumstick and turkey out of the sand and wrote happy thanksgiving in the sand. i buried our friend and drew feathers coming out of his head to look like an indian. i came home and made cinnamon rolls by myself. i watched tv for a few good hours. my friends came over and we attempted to make a thanksgiving dinner. we didn't have a turkey because we had no clue how to make one. we had microwaveable chicken strips. we made a mess of our kitchen and learned very quickly that none of us can cook. we watched a christmas movie on tv afterwards. they left. i cleaned up. i went to bed. it definitely wasn't home. but ya know what, it was new. all of us were homesick, but all of us didn't admit it. we all put on a smile and made the best of the day with our new friends. because that's all you can do really. 

i'm being forced to grow up here. but sometimes we need that extra push. i've learned to keep to myself a lot here. which is hard for me cause i hate keeping everything inside. i guess that's one reason why i love blogging because i can get things out. the only person that really hears me complain or being upset is my mom haha. the day before thanksgiving was the hardest. i was on the phone with my mom and sister for a few good hours. just crying haha. i'm adult now. yet the only thing i kept thinking as i curled up on my bed, holding onto my stuffed animal was "i want my mommy". what the heck?! i shouldn't think that, i'm too old right? nawtt. all i wanted was to lay on my couch at home, having my mom hold me and hug me. 

i miss hugs. more than anything. i miss seeing at least one person every day that loves you and will hug you so tight. but ya know what, thanksgiving came, and it left. the anticipation of knowing that i wasn't going to be home was far worse than the actual day. if anything, i've just become a lot more grateful for everything i have. to those who are reading this and are still home. don't take for granted those moments. we grow up too fast, and things change. so enjoy the time you have now, before it's gone. i didn't realize that my last thanksgiving would be my last one at home probably. 

i'm so grateful for my family. i love them so much. i'm so grateful for my amazing friends. i'm grateful for my sweet puppy. i'm grateful for technology so that i can talk to everyone back home on the phone. i'm grateful that my friends can leave me funny videos on facebook that make my days. i'm grateful for the beauty of this earth that god made. i'm grateful for new friends that i've made. i'm grateful for a home, a bed, food, money. i'm grateful to have people that love me. i'm grateful to know what love feels like. i'm grateful for life. so grateful. college has definitely humbled me and made me a more giving person i think. may we all take time out of our days to thank those in our lives. i hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving :) gobble, gobble! guess what's next....

CHRISTMAS BREAK. 

21.

DAYS.

hello kindergarten.

so every tuesday and thursday morning i go to the local elementary school for my education class. i help out the kindergarten class which seriously makes my day. those darling kids are too precious. i love them. it is so cool to see little kids so excited about learning. they have so much energy, and love to give to anyone that shows love to them. next week they are performing at the byuh christmas program. for it they will sing a song that they have been practicing for months. i have been helping them learn it and learn the motions that go with it. seeing it will make you melt. it is just too cute. here are the main lines from the song:

here comes santa in a red canoe

paddling on the magic sea of blue 

with a stocking full of joy

for every girl and boy

here comes santa in a red canoe!

now he's coming, got his eyes on you

jolly old santa with a heart so true

with a wiki wiki smile

for a happy hula isle

here comes santa in a red canoe

it's christmas in aloha land

the sand as white as snow

and every child understands

that santa claus is on the go! go! go! go!

here comes santa in red canoe 

paddling on the magic sea of blue

with a hui hou male male, merry christmas to you

here comes santa in a red canoe!! 

not a red sleigh... but a red canoe.

not snow...but sand.

gotta love christmas time in hawaii.

turkey day tomorrow! i'm so grateful for the telephone and that i was able to talk to my mom, sister, and heather today for hours (:

L

hello patheticness.

you know you miss home when you cry at the end of watching cheaper by the dozen, because you see the family completely united and happy, having a great time together. and you cry, not necessarily because you're really homesick, but just because you're so excited to feel that again.

hello fez.

"now we can finally talk about stuff i want to talk about... #1. cocoa butter... it doesn't taste like cocoa, or butter????" 

-fez from that 70s show

i'm grateful to have a tv so i can watch humorous shows that make my days so much better.

hello this moment.

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.

Some are running scared.

Some are coming home.

Some tell lies to make it through the day.

Others are just not facing the truth.

Some are evil men, at war with good.

And some are good, struggling with evil.

Six billion people in the world, six billion souls.

And sometimes... all you need is one."

hello thankfulness.

thanksgiving is next week, which is always a time that makes me think of family. this year more than ever. i really wish i could go home next week like everyone else, and spend the time with the ones i love. it does hurt when i see all my friends commenting on each others walls about how excited they are to see each other and how much fun they're going to have because i just wish i could be apart of it. i'm happy that they can all be together, i really am. but it makes me so upset when they don't take the time out of their days to be together. when they let other things get in the way of them all hanging out. but they don't understand. now that i'm gone, i think about how many opportunities i would take to see them. and it's frustrating to see them take advantage of those moments. but like i said earlier, it's not their faults because they don't understand and they won't until they don't have the option to be with the ones they love. but there's no point in being really sad about it all because i can't change it. so i just sit back and smile through the pain because at the end of the day i'm still grateful for so much. i'm still grateful that i have my wonderful friends, even if i can't physically be with them. i'm still grateful for my amazing family, i love them so much. so i'm smiling because i get to see all these amazing people in 1 month. in fact, in 29 days i will be stepping onto an airplane and in exactly 30 days i will be wrapped up in the arms of the people that mean the most to me. I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT. 

so in honor of thanksgiving coming up soon i'm going to list the things that i'm grateful for each day :)

today, i am grateful for so much.

i'm grateful to have a telephone that works so i can talk to my family and friends.

i'm grateful for the wonderful weather we had today and that i was able to go to the beach and get a small sun burn.

i'm grateful for a blog to allow me to express my thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

i'm grateful for apple customer service, and that they can help me fix my computer.

i'm grateful to have people that truly care about me. 

think about what you're grateful for this week and remember to be thankful for it :)

L

hello butt face.

i'm never going to like you.

everything about you is ugly.

i try and be polite to you when i see you on the occasion. but it's hard to be nice to the brat that steals your red crayon. i tried to be nice to you. multiple times. but you continued to steal my blue crayon, then my yellow one, then my green one. and ya know what, i finally called it quits on coloring my pictures without those crayons. because i need those colors to make my pictures pretty. you're messing them up. 

yes. i'm going to hold a grudge probably for the rest of my life. because i think you are honestly, just a mean-hearted person. one fake apology doesn't mean you're sorry. your actions prove who you are. thank goodness it's been awhile since i've seen you. i wish i didn't have such anger towards you still. but when you've messed with my pictures for a few years, i'm gonna have to look at those ugly pictures for years to come. hence the grudge. so this is just a vent to you and your bratty ways. it might seem out of the blue, but i just really needed it. 

i think i'm a generally nice person. i don't have many enemies, but you're just lucky enough to be number 1 on my list. which i wish you weren't because that probably makes you happy to know that you're number 1. i forgive and forget easily. too easily. but i forgave you too many times. i'm not gonna go steal your crayons though because then that makes me no better than you and your mean ways. and i in no way want to resemble you. so keep your crayons, your pictures are ugly anyways :)

you're a bully. 

but only a few people know it because you're an even better actress. 

you would think that you'd be filthy rich by now off of all your performances.

well, i'm done watching your movies. and i'm done being in them.

i hope i never see you again. 

i hope you get the hint and stay away.

but more so, i hope you change. i hope you grow up. i hope you apologize over and over and over again until your voice is sore, because maybe then i'll believe it. but i'm betting that will never happen. so until then, i take back what i said a long time ago. i don't want to try and be friends. i tried, and i got over it real fast. i don't want to have a person like you as a friend, because you're not a true friend. 

so this is my elementary school vent to the bully that continually stole my crayons. i hope you fall off the swing next time and get a little dirt on ya. i don't care if i'm acting immature. i learned it from you and your smelly, butt face self. 

you're ugly. 

and i'm never going to like you. 

man, i feel a lot better :) 

L

hello kaylyn.

alright, so this post is going to be quite random because i have a lot of things to say, yet none of them are really related. so here it goes...

1. this post is just for you kaylyn, b.c i think it is more suiting to say your name rather than "shark" :)
2. over the weekend a few of us went to pounders (a beach here). it had been raining all day and it was still cloudy but we decided to just go because we thought it would be fun. when we got there though the water was coffee colored which we thought was weird but we didn't really think much of it. we just thought it was the sand or something. so a few of my friends decided to go into the ocean, i decided to pass because it was raining and i was cold. let's face it, we all know i'm always cold. don't think that changed when i moved to a tropical location haha. well, as my friends started going out further, a local here approached me and informed me that it probably wasn't the best idea to be swimming right now. i asked why and he continued to explain that when it rains here it floods the rivers up in the mountains and the rivers empty into the ocean. but apparently the water will flood and kill the pigs up in the mountains? so the pigs or their scent, or something like that empties into the water and attracts the sharks. hence the coffee colored water. so long story short. don't go in the water when it's raining so we don't get eaten by sharks. thank you local for informing us!
3. so i stupidly made a bet with the devil yesterday... and by the devil, i mean my wonderful best friend ryan ;) he bet that i couldn't stay off of facebook for 2 days. i'm addicted, i know. i have a problem. it's gotten way worse since i've gotten a lap top and even worse since i've come to college. i am the definition of a facebook creeper. why do i spend so much time?? why am i so intrigued and fascinated by the people in this world? i really don't know. all i know is that i have a problem. so i agreed to this bet of his because i'm a stubborn person and really, i just wanted to prove to ry that i could do it haha. i have successfully accomplished this for one entire day and i'm proud to say that. i didn't realize how many times i put the curser over the facebook tab to check. A LOT. last night was the worst. and it especially didn't help that ryan kepts trying to trick me into getting on and telling me lies that were going on. thanks ry... on top of it all, he contacted my best friends to make sure that they inform him if i cheat. well here's to you ry, 24 more hours to go, and victory smells oh so sweet!
(but just between everyone else reading this... i am seriously dying to get back on!! ahhh i need to join a support group or something)
4. since i can't go on fb, i've been checking up on the blogging world which unfortunately, really is not that exciting because no one ever updates their blog... beside's you ally! thanks so much for that (:
5. the mouse returns. yes i know i can't believe it either. so last night we decided to set out these 2 traps we had. but being the loving animal lover that i am, we had the traps that didn't kill the mice. so my roommate got ones that had a really sticky surface and they just caught the mice. however, the directions and everything was just really vague? but being the smart college students we are, we didn't think twice about it and put them out. well... found out today that they work... my other roommate texted me telling me that there was a mouse stuck on there and that it was still alive! we called a boy to help us get rid of it because come on... you really think 5 college girls can do that?? killing a bug in our house is the most chaotic event haha. as i got home the guy was already here and he was outside and showed me it. THE POOR LITTLE THING! i didn't realize that you couldn't just lift the mouse off and let it go free. you had to kill it... :( he killed it. seriously it was the saddest thing because we could hear it squealing :( ahhh i hate thinking about it, i ran into my room and closed the door because i didn't want to be apart of anything more. i cried. i'm such a wimp, i know. but it just breaks my heart :( i got rid of the other trap because there is no way we are killing any more mice. i would much rather have those cute things wandering around our house than kill them.
6. soooo i have an art project due tomorrow that i've been working on for the last 2 weeks. i still have so much work to do on it tonight. well, it's a landscape drawing so we're drawing an area of our campus. later today i went to campus, got my drawing from the art room, and walked to my spot to draw. i sat down, got all my pencils out, put my ipod in my ear and then looked up to start drawing. only to see that they cut down one of the trees that was in my drawing!! what. the. heck. seriously, sometimes my luck is just awesome.
7. research paper that i haven't started, due tomorrow. art project that is only half completed, due tomorrow. harry potter marathon on abc family, starts tonight. glad to know where my priorities are.

so long, blogging world. you guys are great, but i can't wait to be reconnected with the fb world in 24 hours and 3 minutes. hope everyone is having a happy thursday (:

L

hello weirdos.

i miss my weirdo best friends. we're like really, really weird. i miss being able to be myself and have them understand it perfectly. when other people see the five of us together, they can't help but just stare in confusion. they don't even try to question it though, because they know there's no point. we just are the way we are, and i love it that way (: can't wait to shanoodle wit you crazy dookies! shloveeee youuuuu guys <3

hello n.

today is someones special birthday.

she's been my best friend since 4th grade. 

and today she's 19. 

i've known her for almost half of my life. how crazy is that? i'm so lucky to have her as my best friend. she is such a kind and loving person and she means the world to me. i wish so badly that i could be there right by her side in georgia today to give her a big hug. i miss her every day. but we'll be reunited soon and when we are we can talk in our random languages, we can run back and forth in her basement, i can listen to her say the most ridiculous stuff and then give her that blank stare of confusion. i can't wait. 6 more weeks. i miss you n. happy, happy birthday! i love you. make this year even better than last (:

L

hello mouse, part 2.

the mouse is gone!! 

i was sitting on our couch watching tv and all of a sudden i saw it run across the floor and out the door! 

it was nice knowing the cute little thing.

hello mouse.

the other night i was sitting in our living room, on the couch, being very studious and working on my homework. my other roommates were all in their rooms, and it was pretty quiet in the house. i see something out of the corner of my eye across the room, in our kitchen. i look up. nothing. curious as to what it was, i continued to stare. all of a sudden, i see it.

A MOUSE.

i immediately gasped and it ran under the stove. my roommates all looked up, waiting in silence for me to speak up. in shock, i waited again. it ran back out in the middle of the kitchen floor, i yelled "there's a mouse!!!" the mouse quickly ran back under the stove and all my roommates came running. 

please, just imagine a house of 5 girls and a mouse. it is such an ordeal to kill a bug. we run around the house, screaming and running into each other. it's always pretty funny because we look so ridiculous. 

but this isn't some bug. this is a mouse. we continued to jump up and down afraid to enter near the kitchen. imagine the next hour as we were on mouse watch. it came creeping out again and my roommate kathy was there to see it too! 

but wait, here's the thing... it's actually like really cute i think. i know you're probably like what the heck?! but it is soooo small and little and cute! it reminded me of the mice in cinderella. how can you not think they're cute? 

well, mr. mouse hasn't been spotted since. but we are still on the lookout. i secretly hope he stops by again. (:

L

hello you.

you've changed.
so, so much.
you're so blind to it.
that's what's so sad.
be the old you.
be the you i knew.
because i really, really miss you.
and you don't even care,
because if you cared
you wouldn't have changed.
you'd make more of an effort,
and i'd believe you,
and everything you say.
the same way i used to.
be you.
i miss you.

hello mcdonalds.

tonight i went to mcdonalds. 

i got an oreo mcflurry.

it was splendid.

but that's not the point of this post. 

i just wanted to dedicate this to mr. mcdonalds worker.

mr. mcdonalds worker: "your total is $3.03"

i hand him $5.03

he then continues to give me my receipt and walks away.

ummm... where are my 2 dollars?

of course i didn't want to be rude, so i patiently waited. then had to approach the always awkward... umm you're wrong approach. i then explained how i gave him a five dollar bill and still needed money. how this did not occur to him? i'm not too sure... because i'm pretty sure that single three dollar bills don't exist...

he then apologizes and hands me a 1 dollar bill and 97 cents... 

do i care that mcdonalds technically stole 3 cents from me? no.

however, do i care that i now have to carry around a heavy 97 cents, rather than a light single one dollar bill? yes.

great math skills mr. mcdonalds worker. especially seeing how you have a machine that does the math for you. i wish you the best of luck in your future.

L

hello unfinished story.

Do you remember when we first met?

I sure do
It was some time
In early September
You were lazy about it
You made me wait around
I was so crazy about you
I didn't mind
So I was late for class
I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find
You painted flowers on
Guess that I was afraid
That if you rode away
You might not roll back
My direction real soon
Well I was crazy about you then
And now the craziest thing of all
Over 10 years have gone by
And you're still mine
We're locked in time
Let's rewind

Do you remember
When we first moved in together?
The piano took up the living room
You'd play me boogie woogie
I played you love songs
You'd say we're playing house
Now you still say we are
We built our get away
Up in a tree we found
We felt so far away
Though we were still in town
Now I remember watching
That old tree burn down
I took a picture that
I don't like to look at

Well all these times
They come and go
Alone don't seem so long
Over 10 years have gone by
We can't rewind
We're locked in time
But you're still mine

Do you remember? 

hello that 70s show.

my newest obsession lately is watching that 70s show. i've always enjoyed it, but lately i'm just obsessive with watching it. it really makes my day. it makes me happier and i always laugh. i watch 3 hours of it each day. that's 6 episodes of amazingness. i don't know why i love it so much. maybe it's because of fez's wonderful accent that i can't help but laugh at anything he says. or the way kelso views the world. or jackie's love for fashion and material items. i could go on, and on about why i love everyone. i love it. it's grand. if you've never seen it, you should tune in immediately. 

that is all.

L

hello gana.

gantuya ganbat.

june 6, 1985-october 26, 2010.

so there's this girl that went here at byuh. she was in my art class. her name was gantuya, but everyone called her gana for short. she was so kind. i didn't have many conversations with her, but i still knew she was kind. her happiness radiated off of her and shone brighter than anything else to everyone else. she was always smiling. always. i couldn't help but smile when i saw her because it was contagious. every monday, wednesday, and friday from 7:30am-9:40am i was lucky enough to see her smile. 

well, for the last 2 weeks in class we've been working on a project where we are spread out at opposite ends of the hallway and had to draw it. everyone is in their own secluded space so i never really noticed if people were absent. i didn't notice that gana wasn't there monday or wednesday. that's awful to say, but it's the truth. i didn't realize that she was gone. so imagine my shock when i heard the news on friday when we were all gathered together again in the classroom. my professor asked if we had all been informed about gana. myself and 2 other people raised our hands because we had not heard about it. he continued to explain how she passed away. i was confused because at first i didn't even realize. as he continued to talk, i looked around the classroom. we were all siting in a circle and i looked around that circle at least 5 times. there's only 15 of us in the class so it's really small. but i kept looking and sure enough, she wasn't there. she was gone. but really... gone. 

our professor continued to explain how she wasn't feeling well and then unexpectedly became very ill at the beginning of the week and was admitted into the hospital. on monday, i was drawing the hallway. on monday, gana was in the hospital bed. i didn't even realize...

the doctors told her that she had a blood disorder and that her red blood cells were attacking her immune system. on wednesday, october 26th, gana was gone. 

just like that. she was gone. so quickly. no warning. nothing. from what i've been told she had cancer and didn't know. and the cancer had completely taken over her body. within a couple of days gana went from drawing at the other end of the hallway, to leaving this earth. 

i remember one time we were outside in art and we were instructed to draw a tree. gana was sitting next to me but she sat down looking at the ground and wasn't drawing. she didn't feel well. when the professor came over wondering what was wrong she explained that she didn't feel well. she ended up leaving that day. that was 3 weeks ago. 

yesterday morning i attended gana's memorial service. so many people were there. so many people were touched by gana.

gana was from mongolia. her mother is very ill and has been in the hospital. when gana passed away her mother wasn't informed because they were afraid that the news would impact her health even more. however, they finally informed her and she was able to fly all the way to hawaii and speak at the memorial. that only happens from the help of the lord. 

everyone knew gana. everyone agreed that you couldn't find something bad to say about her. like i said earlier, she was truly a happy person. always smiling. my heart breaks for her family. her soon-to-be fiance spoke at the memorial service. my heart breaks for him too. but the affect that gana had on people lives on. 

i didn't know gana very well at all. i wish i had though because from what i've seen she was an amazing person. but for my own selfish reasons i can't help but admit that in a way i'm almost glad that i didn't know her better so that i wouldn't have to go through the heart break of losing such a wonderful friend. 

even though i didn't know gana that well, she still taught me something. she taught me to cherish life. to love life. to be happy with life. there will always be someone that is going through a tougher time than you. always. she taught me to make every second count with the ones that count the most to you. gana was gone so suddenly. just a few days and she was gone. none of us know when we're going to die. so we need to live each day as if that's it. always tell the people around you, you love them. i've always believed these things, but gana reminded me that it's really so important. sometimes it takes a harsh tragedy for you to realize what's important in life. this entire week here in hawaii has been cloudy and rainy which is very out of the ordinary. saturday morning when i stepped outside of the memorial service the sun was shining brighter than ever. gana is looking down on us, still radiating her kindness and love to us all more than ever. thank you for that special gift gana. thank you for your example. rest in peace <3

"some people come into our lives and quickly go. some people move our souls to dance. they awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. they stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

-flavia weedn

this quote was on gana's memorial service program

hello home.

so i try and be optimistic and enjoy life out here, but sometimes you can't help but just miss home.

more specifically the people that are at home. moving out here has made me appreciate it all so much more. i think pretty much anyone that has moved and gone to college can agree that they miss the comfort of walking into a room and knowing everyone in it. i miss seeing familiar faces every day. most of us in high school grew up together. from murdock to dodgen to pope. i graduated with tons of people that i've known since kindergarten and then all of a sudden you move and you don't see those people. even those people that you weren't the best of friends with, i miss. i just miss familiarity. i miss comfort. i miss being genuinely cared about. yes, i have friends out here. but i don't have best friends that will walk to the end of the earth for you. those are one in a million. and i've got quite a few (: i miss them all. after graduation it was really exciting any time you got together with a ton of people. we all cherished it more b.c we knew it might be one of the last times we see them for awhile. we jumped up to go give them a huge hug and secluded ourselves from the group to see how they were doing. we cared about each other. we still care about each other, but more so we miss each other. we miss the way things used to be and find ourselves thinking back on old memories a lot. 

i know we all have to move forward at some point in our life... i just wish we could all move forward together. there is no point for life without the ones that make you the happiest. for real. i've realized that being out here. i miss you guys <3

L

hello luck.

today was full of good luck.... and by good luck i'm being sarcastic and i mean bad luck. 

the cherry on top of it all was when i got home and realized i forgot to grab my keys this morning so i was locked out. such fun...

but i realized it would be pointless to ramble on about all the things that happened today that made today a blah day. instead i'm going to think of all the positive things and all the blessings i have. my friend kay has a list in her dorm room that goes 1-100 and she writes down a blessing she realizes she has every day. i'm going to start making one as well.

1. i'm blessed to have a phone, so that i could call my roommate and she could come back home to let me in.

99 more to go :)

L

hello laie.

so i pretty much love this place.

whats not to love?

every time i'm feeling homesick i just step outside and i can't help but feel better and grateful that i live here.

one thing i'm not grateful for however... jellyfish. 

after class on friday i ventured off with 3 friends to chinaman's hat. it's an island that you can normally walk all the way out to if the tide is low. however, it's all reef so it hurts to walk on unless you have shoes and we didn't have shoes so we ended up swimming the whole way. everyone says that sharks circle around it so the entire time we are swimming out there i am so paranoid that i'm about to get eaten. not even thinking of any other creatures that live in the ocean and then bam, i got stung by a jellyfish. more specifically the man o' war, or blue bubble. it stung me on my pinky finger. i don't handle pain well and it killed. my finger swelled up, it started shaking, turned a lovely shade of red/pink, and stayed like that for the next 6 hours. it was fun. 

but minus the fact that i now know i'm slightly allergic to jellyfish and that next time i need to get someone to pee on my finger, it was a great experience. 

once we got to the island we hiked all the way to the top and we could look out on this beautiful island of oahu. 

jellyfish, i hate you. 

oahu, i love you. 

L

hello crazy eyes.

if you were still here i'd tell you a joke, but more realistically listen to you because you're way funnier than i am.
if you were still here i'd still side with you on anything and everything, even if you were wrong.
if you were still here i'd run down the hallway with you away from my sister and lock ourselves in the playroom to show you the most embarrassing pictures of her.
if you were still here i'd give you the blank stare of confusion after you rambled on about the most random things.
if you were still here i'd watch transformers with you.
if you were still here i'd be a lot happier from laughing more.
if you were still here i'd still roll my sophies up way too short so that you and my sister could make fun of me.
if you were still here i'd be at peace knowing my sister and that little monster are in good hands.
if you were still here i'd tell you i love you.
two years is too long without you.
you're the greatest and i miss you.
JDL
<3

hello nala.

i love dogs. 

anyone that knows me, knows i LOVE, love, love dogs. i really don't understand how anyone couldn't? 

well my story beings saturday night. i was hanging out around the hale (dorm) with some people. here in hawaii everything is very open since a lot of stuff isn't air conditioned. a lot of classrooms have courtyards and all the hales do as well. so it's very easy for animals to roam around. well i look outside of my friends door and there is a darling dog standing there looking at me with the sweetest look. of course i sprang over to that sweetheart and started petting and loving it. as i was doing so other girls passed commenting "ew." and other mean comments b.c they didn't want the dog near them.

RUDE.

i can not stand people that aren't kind to animals. 

what if i walked past that girl and said EWWW when i walked passed her? i'm sure she wouldn't be too happy with that comment. dogs have ears! they can hear what you say. they have feelings. a;sdfja;lsdkjfal;ksjdf 

any ways... so as we were leaving this darling puppy followed us out. i didn't know what to do because i wanted to take care of her. she was really skinny and you could tell she needed a home :( thank goodness, these two boys near me walked over to her and took her back to their house to give her a meal. i thanked them multiple times and i am forever grateful that they have a heart. 

next day (sunday) i went to church and when walking back i walked through the gate of my house and the same dog was sitting right outside of my door!!!! she found me, all the way off campus! she knew that i loved her and that i would take care of her and she found me!! :) i spent the day feeding her, loving her, playing with her, and cuddling with her. it was fabulous! i named her Nala. it just came to me! she is the sweetest! she stayed the night outside and this morning she was still there, but when one of my roommates left for class nala followed her back to campus /: i was really worried about her because i didn't want her to get hit by a car, or get sent to the pound. well, during my first class (art), we were outside drawing and all of a sudden i heard some of my classmates go "aww" i turned around and it was her!!! i yelled NALA!!!! i was so happy! my art teacher asked me about how i knew her and i continued to tell him and my class the story, they all laughed about my love for her. i don't get why people are amused? i think everyone should love dogs as much as i do. but i couldn't leave my class to take care of her :( so she wandered off and i just had to sit there and watch :( after class i biked all around campus looking for her but i haven't seen her since :( 

i really hope she's okay. i know that i can't keep her, but i was going to give her a bath and feed her until i called an animal shelter. if you call the pound they get about 3-4 days and then if no one adopts them, they get put down :( it's so terrible. i'm just praying that someone had a heart and took her in and that she is safe tonight. i love you nala <3

hello pain.

i miss it all so much.
it really hurts.

hello my new life.

seriously, i love it here. it is beautiful. everyone is so kind. i wish i could just bring all of my friends out here with me to enjoy it all. but i'm not going to lie, i have been missing home. who wouldn't??

i miss wendy's frosty's and fries. 

i miss steak n' shake.

i miss shopping.

i miss a home cooked meal.

i miss my family

i miss my friends

i miss my dog.

i miss my own room.

i miss fall/winter.

i miss hugs.

i miss southern comfort.

you don't realize how much you would miss georgia and the south until you're out of there. it really is home and there really is nothing like home. 

but ill be home in 10 weeks and i will soak in and love every minute of it!

as for my current state here in hawaii, it's pretty wonderful. even when i do get homesick stepping outside and realizing where i am really does help. this past weekend i climbed stairway to heaven. it's a ladder that stretches from the bottom to the top of the tallest mountain on oahu. and it's illegal. haha. it's a bit dangerous and an extremely tough hike. there is a guard on duty from 5am-3am so there's about a 2 hour gap in the early hours of the morning where you have to sneak over to climb it. our journey began about 10pm friday night and we got zero sleep. climbing up the ladder was DEATH. i go to the gym. i'm not a total bum. but this kicked my butt for real. a few people in our group didn't finish because it seriously was just so exhausting. at points it is completely vertical and there is no ground beneath you so if you miss a step... lets just say you don't want to miss a step. and it's metal so towards the top it was slippery because of the moisture from the clouds. but i must admit, when we got to the top it was completely worth it. we saw the sunrise over the entire island and it was beautiful. i will never do it again, but i'm totally glad i did it at least once. 

i think that's another thing i love about being here, i get to do exciting things. i feel like other places the typical weekend consists of the same old parties. which don't get me wrong that's way fun as well. but you're only young once and i'm glad i'm taking advantage of every second of it. 

as for the rest of my life it's going well, just taking it one day at a time and being strong. 

1 corinthians 13: 4-8 

L

hello oahu.

dearest hawaii,
you're too good to me.
i love you.
sincerely, lo.

hello story of a girl.

she wakes up every day feeling different. she lies in bed for a few minutes just thinking about you. she catches herself when she talks to you. sometimes she almost slips up, but she tries not to. she looks forward to the end of their conversations because she gets to say i love you. she goes to her art class and spends two hours drawing. she puts her ipod on shuffle and every song seems to remind her of you. she goes to her next class, education. she sits next to a young newlywed couple that makes her miss you so much. she misses getting hugs. not from just you but from anyone. she looks forward to the days where she helps out at the elementary school because she will receive at least one hug from those darling kindergartners. before the class is over a student plays music on her laptop for a class game. only 3 songs. only 5 minutes left of class. you would think they would be upbeat songs. but one of those songs, is one of their songs... of course. she looks down trying not to think about it or get sad but she can't help it as her eyes start to water up. thank goodness class is over. she goes to her last class of the day, english. what's the topic and theme for class today? love. they spend the class discussing and analyzing two poems about love. for the last twenty minutes the class is asked to write a short in-class paper. the topic: What Is Love? again, her eyes water up with every word she writes. counting down the minutes until class is over. finally, it's done and turned in. she bolts out of there. trying her best to avoid talking or looking at anyone. she misses him. but he's still there, which makes it better. he will always be there. they will always be there for each other. they will always love each other. and knowing that makes her day so much better. 

"I see the old photographs and I am smiling and I'm sure quite happy but what I mostly see is me

through your eyes

and I am still young and slim and very much committed to the love we still have."

-one stanza from Love in Place by Nikki Giovanni

hello r.t.p.

i love you.

forever & always.

aloha hawaii.

i figured i would switch it up with an aloha instead of hello. so this post is going to be long haha...

hawaii is beautiful. absolutely beautiful. incase you want to know, i live on oahu. oahu is a pretty popular island and it's the same island that the capital (honolulu) is on. i live in laie (la-E-A), which is about an hour from honolulu. laie is a very small town. if a want to go get food from a restaurant, my choices are mcdonalds, taco bell, pizza hut, a chinese place, and an ice cream/shave ice place. i live off campus in a house. my house is like right along the beach. as i'm writing this i can hear the waves crashing on the beach. i will say though, one thing i am not a fan of is that i don't have air conditioning. ughh. there isn't air conditioning anywhere in hawaii unless you're in a hotel, a resort, or a store. the university has air conditioning but the dorms don't and none of the houses around do. it's a lot cooler outside of my house than it is inside but i'm getting used to it and figuring out tricks for it to be cooler. 

the campus is gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous. i don't mean to brag, but i think i win the award for prettiest campus haha. i'll post pictures soon! everyone here is super nice and friendly. everyone is also very laid back which can be annoying since i'm coming from an environment that's not like that b.c sometimes i just want to know answers and people are just like 'ohh we'll figure it out later and let ya know'. but it's definitely a stress free environment. 

as for my house... the living room and the kitchen are lime green (it's a bit much), my room is lavander, the other room is a vibrant blue, the bathroom is yellow, and the house is a blue/turquoise. it's a very beachy feeling. my roommates are great! i love them all and we get along so great! one is from california, one is from texas, one is from here on oahu, and the other is from the philippines! 

classes start tomorrow and i'm actually excited. i know that sounds lame, but i'm excited to meet new people! i got a bike today so that will make it nice to get around. 

other things that are interesting about hawaii... the fire trucks and fire hydrants are yellow. everyone and everything will say aloha and mahalo instead of hello and thanks. for example, when i check out a target and i slide my card through the thing, it says 'mahalo for shopping at target'. everyone's uniforms are the button up shirts that have the tropical flowers on them. for like every store it's that way. target they're red, walmart they're blue. people toss up the hang loose hand sign like they show a smile. and everyone bikes, skateboards, or longboards. 

overall i'm doing pretty well! obviously i miss home some because i miss my friends and family but i'm trying really hard to not think about it and to just embrace the change and have fun. it really does help that it's so beautiful here haha. 

okay goals while i'm here:

1. learn how to surf

2. don't get eaten by a shark

3. meet lots of new people

4. get good grades

5. get in great shape

i'll probably think of other ones later but as for now that's about it! alright, well now that i've updated you all on the basics my other posts will be more interesting! just thought i would catch everyone up on how i'm doing! thank you to everyone who has been so kind and supportive. you have no idea how comforting and great it is when i hear everyones support. it just reaffirms that i can do all this. i love you all!! and i will hopefully have more interesting things to say later :) 

L