hello beach.

i haven't even started packing...

oh well :)

peace out east cobbers.

see you all in a week.

hello random thoughts.

love. hate. happiness. sad. depressed. weird. joyful. jealous. sneaky. angry. ecstatic. furious.

and the list goes on and on.

feelings we all have experienced throughout our life. sometimes even all in one day.

we all have a right to feel and release our emotions in different ways. but it doesn't mean that the other people are always going to like it. but we have that right simply by living & breathing.

now, i'm not saying that exactly makes any of us pretty when some of those emotions come out. i think two of the most unattractive emotions are jealousy & hatred. similar in so many ways. but also so far apart. it's interesting how those emotions can simply bring out the nasty in a sweet person. it's ugly. so how does a person deal with it then? because jealousy normally occurs because it forms from love. ironic? so do you just stop loving? do you learn to take out that anger in other ways? or do you just release the ugly side of you?

now back to hatred.

i think it was sophomore year for me when i realized that i stopped caring. not about people. but about what other people thought of me. i realized that i wanted to start caring more about my character than my reputation. because my character is who i am, and my reputation is what others think of me.

so i focussed more on my character. i figured out who i wanted to be. i wanted to be nice. i realized that it really isn't hard at all to be kind to other people. so i made a goal to meet lots of new people and show simple acts of kindness whenever i could.

now i'm not by any means perfect. i know i'm not always nice. but i like myself & my character better when i am. so i don't understand why some people are just mean? there's no need for it. i feel like i've always been open minded to giving people 2nd and 3rd chances. but what's the point? if the other person is just going to be mean? i guess there are just some people in your life that you won't ever get along with, and that's okay. but i still don't understand the need to go out of your way to not like someone? seriously. i would never wish upon someone a unhappy life. it's a lot harder to hate someone than to like someone. so if there's a person like that in your life, then i suggest that you try and wave that flag of peace. but ya know what... if they aren't going to wave that flag in return, then they aren't worth being in your life anyways, and you are way better off without them. no one wants to carry around an ugly accessory.

"love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time."

just some random thoughts from me, to you.

L

hello vacation.

beach.

one week.

enough said.

hello color.

my old template was annoying me. i get sick of things quickly. so i decided it was time for a change and that i needed some more color.

not only have i decided to make this change to my blog, but also to my life. summer is flying. i wish i could press pause sometimes but i know i can't. i hate that. so i decided that i need to finish crossing off some things on my summer to-do list. and i'm happy to report that i think i'm doing a pretty good job at it.

within the last few days i built a rocket. and this is no joke. i built a rocket. now, come on, i'm not talking like nasa rocket. more like cardboard paper rocket built from my house. well boyfriend and i decided to build them because both my brother and him both used to build them and shoot them off. nerdy? yes :) but i have to admit, i have crossed over into the dorky side with this one. we shot them off yesterday and it was actually really cool! they went so high and it was just neat. ah now i'm really sounding nerdy.

boyfriend and i also went out on a date last night. where?

studio movie grill.

check it out! it's a movie theater, but they also serve you dinner during your movie. it's really new and really nice. the service is great too. it's on holcomb bridge road. just search it in google if you and your bf/gf or friends all want to go one night. it's something different and fun!

today i went to white water with my family and boyfriend. white water always brings back so many memories of middle school. we used to spend all our summer days at that place. it was the best.

well i'm currently hiding out from the fam. does that sound bad? haha. i love them. but since my brother, his wife, and their 3 little boys have been here, it's been kind of hard to get a moment of peace & quiet to myself.

ciao

from the girl that's adding a little more color to her life

L

hello goodbye.

ironic much? hello goodbye actually used to be one of my favorite bands. i even saw them in concert once. but that's not the point of this post.

well, heather left.

blah.

back to california she goes. goodbye's are always hard. i feel like i've become a pro at saying them though. i've always had friends that are older than me so i'm very used to saying bye to my friends. but this time it was different. it's different because in a way it's the beginning of saying adios to all my friends before i leave for hawaii. not cool. i won't see heath till the very end of december :( 5 months. FIVE MONTHS. way too long. also, ironically even though she is the farthest from me and i won't get to see her for the longest time. when i get out to hawaii she will be the closest one to me. i'm so grateful to have her as a friend. she seriously is the sweetest person i've met. she has such a huge heart and deserves the best. i love her to death :)

well, also on the topic of college... housing.

FAIL.

i honestly don't even feel like writing about this because it makes me really upset but i figure it's probably good to get my anger out. well i found out a few days ago that i am on the wait list for housing. you're prob like what? how can that happen to freshmen?? yeah... my thoughts exactly. well this year they accepted too many freshmen and there aren't enough dorms for them so they are allowing them to live off campus. i'm # 79 on the wait list, out of 186. i can't help but keep wondering why? why me? what did i do wrong? did i send my housing stuff in late? no. did i fill something out wrong? no. simply just bad luck. now, some people might think it'd be awesome to live in an apartment and not want to live in the dorms. but i want to. that might sound lame, but i really want to. i want to have that freshman experience. but more so because i've never even set foot on campus. i have a 7:30am class that has to do with my major. i don't have a car. i'll be walking to school in the dark. meal plan... i don't want to commute to campus just to eat and i don't want to start cooking. i'm definitely not ready for that. i want a freshman roommate. if i live in the apartment i could get roommates who are as old as 25. and i can't look at the apartments either. i can't just fly over there and look. ughhhhhhad;lfkjasdklfjas;.

so after several phone calls to about every possible person who works at byuh, it looks like that the reality of it is that i will be living off campus and that i need to start looking. now. so i've decided that i have no choice but to try and look on the bright side of all this.

bright side:

i could live right on the beach. even though the dorms are only a 4 minute walk away...

i could have more space and my own room. also when my friends come to visit they can stay comfortably with me.

i can decorate more (that is a plus for me)

i can get a bike. but a cute one.

i'll loose weight. haha seriously though. because either i won't be eating bc i won't cook. or i will be walking and riding my bike so much that i will burn off anything i eat. no need for a gym? haha

wish me luck. i hate you college.

xoxo

L

hello friendship.

hello again. i know it's been awhile, but i've been busy and enjoying this sweet summertime.

one thing that has been on my mind lately is friendship.

heather came home from california and that probably explains my lack of blogging. it's been wonderful getting to hang out with her! (: it really is tough though. it's tough only getting to see someone twice a year. especially when they mean so much to you. she leaves tomorrow... askldjfa;lk. i don't wanna talk about it.

also, with miss lexie getting married it's made me so sad to know that i probably won't be here for it :( stupid college. it sucks. she is going through such an amazing time right now and i can't be there to help her out with any of it. stupid? yes. but that doesn't take away from the fact that i am so incredibly happy for her and garrett!

well this last weekend we celebrated the 4th of july. so a bunch of us went up to boyfriends cabin and spent 2 days there in the mountains. it was a blast! it's really nice being able to sneak away sometimes. i know i complain a lot about east cobb. but when it comes down to it, i really do love east cobb. you who are reading this probably think i'm crazy, but it's the truth. we've been really lucky to grow up in such a great town with great opportunities. but on the other hand, it does get frustrating that since it's not that big of a town, everyone know everything. about everyone. always. so it's a breathe of fresh air when i can sneak away to other places like the beach, the lake, or the mountains.

yesterday i went to helen with 4 of my best friends. our friend has a house there so we spent the night and then today went tubing. it was a lot of fun. before we got to the house we made a stop at the local grocery store, ingles. yeah we don't have one of those in the ec. now i'm not trying to bash the north ga area, but if you've visited then you probably know it's not exactly marietta. yeahhh... i don't think there's a need to explain, i'll just list a few words to sum it up.

red neck. lots of land. little construction. not a ton to do. lack of teeth. wild life.

well upon our check out, heather and i were approached by a guy who looked our age. he walked up and asked us if we needed help with our groceries.... heather didn't buy anything. i bought something... but i didn't put it in a bag. we awkwardly looked at him showing him our empty hands and trying not to laugh at his attempt of a pick up line. our other friends turned around to get in on the convo. after telling him how we didn't need help he asked if we wanted to hang out with him and his buddies that were around the corner. i love and hate awkward moments. the point of our trip was a girls night and even if it wasn't, none of us are really into the whole red neck, ingles pick up date. well after a few moments of continued awkward silence i told him we were only stopping through and still had another 30 mins to go before we got to our house. lie. i'll tell ya... they don't have much going on in cleveland. this boy was persistent. persistent or really bored. maybe a mix of both. after telling him a few times how we couldn't hang out he still tried to get a number. what do we do...? of course... all of a sudden all of my friends have boyfriends. what are the odds that 5 girls would all have boyfriends at the same time? that's totally believable right? :) probably the longest 5 awkward minutes of my life. i don't even remember everything that was said or how we got out of there. all i remember was passing a man with a shirt that was too short and a huge wolf tattoo on his leg as we walked out the door. i know i probably sound really stuck up. but ya know what... for some people that area is perfect for them and all the better for them. it's just not me. never has been. never will be. sorry cleveland, ga. thank you for the ice cream i purchased and the laughs when i saw heather almost eat it on the concrete when we were running out of ingles to the car. i will be forever grateful.

well after that we got to the cabin. we probably spent about 30 minutes running through the entire house looking in every room and jumping on every bed and dancing around like the little girls we are. i think we probably yelled "it's just like were in the hills and were going away for the weekend!!!!!" about 10 times. at least. we're all adults now and so when we get the chance to get away and just have a house to ourselves, it's really exciting, fun, and relaxing. my parents are extremely relaxed but still, it's nice sometimes to just be away because that's how you learn. you make mistakes. you learn. you grow. that's definitely one reason why i'm excited for college. i feel like in a way i'm being forced to grow up. the minute i step onto that air plane there will be no turning back and i'll be entirely on my own. if i need to come home one weekend, i can't. i'll be forced to become more independent and grow up, fast. and even though that scares me because i like having people there that i can depend on, i still know that by leaving it will give me that extra push i need to continue to mature. and honestly, i think i can handle it. i'm ready for this next stage of life. i'm weirdly excited for when i get a permanent job and being able to finance myself entirely. for 18 and a half years (exactly) i've depended on other people. i'm excited to be able to depend on myself for a little while.

but i think i'm sounding really hypocritical because i love that i can depend on my parents, family, friends, & boyfriend. i love that security. alright... i'm making no sense and i've strayed away from my story about our helen trip.

so let's sum this post up.

helen was a blast. i love my friends. i'm scared to death to leave for college because that means not having them by my side. however, i'm excited to learn more about myself and caring for me. i think it will be cool to be more independent but when i say independent i mean in a financial/stable way. make sense? probably not. i know i'm really confusing.

peace.

lo