>>some hope.

today i saw my beautiful friend taylor for the first time since her boyfriend kirk went missing.

we were standing in the CAC and as we embraced, we both just cried onto each others shoulders.

as my voice shook and quivered, in between sobs i told her over and over again how painfully sorry

i was for her. in that moment i was reminded by how alone i feel sometimes. there we were, in

a crowded room, hundreds of people walking by us. living there own lives, completely oblivious to

the catastrophes we were both grieving with.

and that's life for you.

my life has been on pause. taylor has now hit the pause button as well.

and yet everyone else is on play. rather, it feels like fast forward.

although i wish this sort of pain upon no one, it was a little comforting to feel like someone else

on this island understood. it wasn't just me sitting in a huge room, full of hundreds of people, trying to

hide my pain, or wipe away the tears when no one is looking. there was someone else too.

yesterday marks 3 months since my dad died.

thankfully, there have been happy moments during that time. but it's not the same happy that others feel.

it's tough to describe. but when your heart is permanently broken, and you're constantly sad, you learn

to smile and enjoy the happier moments. they're just not as sweet as they used to be.

and i know one day those moments will get sweeter and happier. one day i will go longer than 3 days without crying. one day.
but i also know it's a long road ahead. that's the worst part. that's the part i hate most for taylor. it hasn't even been a week for her.
and that kills me. i'm already depressed. i wish i could just take her pain too. it sucks.

if you're reading this, i ask again, please pray for my beautiful friend taylor. pray that the pain won't be so unbearable for her.
that this burden may be lightened. that she may be granted some peace from this tragedy. some hope.