hello blur.

time is ticking. that's all i can think about these days. i wake up every morning with a pit in my stomach and fall asleep with that same pit. the only thing i keep thinking is that it's almost here. it's almost time. almost... but i'll save the depressing words for later when it actually happens, because until then i'm trying my absolute hardest to enjoy the moments i have left here. but it's just racing by. i remember just a few short weeks ago thinking i had forever and now i feel like each day is racing by faster than the last. so i guess i'm just going to have to speed up to get ahead of the race.

anyways for the rest of my ordinary life: 

i went to dinner with a friend today. it made my day :) it's interesting to see how much two people can change over the course of a year. she really is the best and we're so similar, but at the same time so different. i'm just grateful to have her. 

i'm starting to dig through my closet and decide what i need and want to bring to college. it's sad not getting to bring out any of my winter clothes. i love winter. fall/winter time is my favorite and my favorite season! it's weird though because if you know me, then you know i absolutely hate the cold. and i get cold really easily. i wear sweatshirts during the summer. no joke. winter break will be the greatest. i'm going to love and cherish those 2 weeks of coldness. 

i've been extra obsessed with music lately. currently i'm listening to bon iver. i listen to bon iver on repeat for days, even weeks at a time. i never get sick of those songs. i've also been listening to a lot of ben harper lately. stalz got me listening to him. and for that i am forever grateful to him for haha. 

as for the television, degrassi is where it's at. i was addicted to that show in middle school and now i find myself watching it yet again. i know it's really stupid and full of bad acting. but it's very entertaining. after all, it has to be good seeing how that's how drake got his start right? 

alright, enough of my nonsense. i know none of you guys could actually be that interested by my boring days. i'll blog again when i actually have something interesting and meaningful to say. 

L

hello nee noo.

alright.

sooo... there's this girl who i call my best friend. now, i have several best friends. but this one is just an extra bit special. and no i don't mean special as in more meaningful or better... i mean special as in WERID. if you know her, you've probably seen a glimpse of this weirdness that i'm talking about. but you see, we've been best friends since 4th grade... i know her weirdness. i've seen every angle, bit, piece, and corner of it. the whole shabang. normally when my phone rings at ridiculous hours in the night, i don't even have to look down to see who's calling because i know that it's her. before i look down to click accept, i see her calling picture pop up...

it's really great i know. it makes me smile before i even begin to listen to the next ridiculous thing that comes out of her mouth. at one point i really do think i was actually a lot weirder than her. and then i'm not sure what exactly happened but she just blossomed into her true self i guess. i think this last year though she has really come out of her shell. she's given the outside world a glimpse of her true character. mostly through the eyes of facebook. i know there is no way that you all haven't seen some of her videos. 

most of the time i really do become speechless at the things i hear from her. a special someone could sweep me off my feet, take me on a helicopter ride throughout the city, go skydiving (which i would never do because i'm terrified of drops), take me to my favorite restaurant, give me 1000 roses, and shower me with love and i guarantee that one simple sentence that comes out of her mouth would leave me more speechless than all of that combined. normally after she tells me stuff i can hear the silence on the phone as she waits in anticipation for my reaction. however, 99% of the time, it just stays silent because i can't help but stare up at my ceiling pondering what words i could possibly conger up to explain how i really feel. ridiculous. that's the only word that ever comes to my mind. it's all ridiculous. 

but every angle, bit, piece, and corner of her ridiculousness is what makes my day. it's what's made my day for 9 years now. half of my life. and if any of you are so lucky to get to see a glimpse of that ridiculousness, then you are truly lucky. one of these days she's going to find mr. right and will get to share that ridiculousness with him and he will love her entirely for it. not as much as i do, because that's just impossible. but i think he'll come pretty close. so keep chasing those dreams nee noo. be the person you want to be. strive for only the best and be only the best. because only the best is what you and your ridiculousness deserve. 

L

hello birthdays.

happy birthday.

not always so happy. 

miss you dearly. 

wish you were here. 

can't wait to see you again.

happy birthday.

not always so happy.

hello rachel.

rachel.

obsessed. 

we all have those celebrities that we like to stalk. rachel is mine. i think my obsession with her started from the oc. i love that show. i cried when it ended. true story.

 i'm not sure exactly why i'm so fond of her. i think i first fell in love with her character, summer roberts. i idolized her glamorous lifestyle in orange county. spending her days as the most popular girl in school, with the most fashionable outfits. she spent her mornings sipping her frappuccino, and her afternoons tanning at the pool. and of course we can't leave out her 2 best friends: marissa cooper and princess sparkle.

the other thing i loved about summer was that she had seth cohen drooling over the ground she walked. and even though he is dorky and nerdy, she gave him a chance to put her before his comic books. they made the perfect couple. i smile just thinking about those two. now i know, they are all just fictional characters on a television show... but i like to think it's all real life. and at the end of the day i still think rachel has everything going for her. minus the fact that her and adam brody aren't together. that really is quite a shame. but don't worry rach, i'll still buy all the magazines that your face is on the cover of. p.s. sorry if that sounds creepy.

bilson.

hello youth.

how sweet it is to be young. 

don't you ever miss being in kindergarten and the worst thing that happened during the day was that someone took the firetruck-red crayon you wanted? that was the life. nap time. recess. snack break. talk about living it up. 

my sister and her almost 3-year-old son have been visiting. i call her son my little monster. he is always full of energy. earlier today we were sitting on the couch watching him run around the living room, jump on the couch, jump to the ottoman, jump back to the couch, jump on me, throw the pillow, jump back to the floor, run around the living room... and repeat. he could do this for hours. little kids wear me out! but it's amazing how spending just a few minutes with them can make you feel on top of the world. when i see him smile, i can't help but smile too. out of the blue today, he looks at my sister and says, "momma you beautiful" my sister replied by saying, "aw thank you baby!" he replied, "you weldcom" and then kissed her. i know what love feels like, but that simply melts my heart. the best is when i'm sitting in my room, and all of a sudden i hear those little footsteps coming toward my door. the door slowly creeps open and i see his little nose peeking through. then about two seconds later he slams the door and runs away. 

now i'm not going to lie, i'm not always thinking about how adorable he is. normally the time when i'm not the most thrilled with him is in the morning hours... today for example, i was awakened with his lovely screaming and crying right outside of my door. followed by my sister yelling, "we do not throw our clothes in the toilet!!!"..... even then, i still can't help but smile from my little monster :)

"Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

L

hello jack johnson.

such a wonderful concert! it rained for the majority of the time, but there's just something about the rain that makes a crowd of people happy? as soon as it rains the entire crowd bursts out into ridiculous dancing and obnoxious screaming that they try to call singing... but i must admit, i was apart of that crowd :) 

i love music and concerts. absolutely love. i can't even tell you how many concerts i've been to. i went through a phase where i was almost obsessive about it. there's just something about music that is so amazing. i really do think music can heal a soul. sometimes you just can't find the words to express something, but when you express it in a song, it makes it crystal clear. but the thing i love about concerts is the atmosphere. at jack i turned around to see this random guy run up to a random girl and give her a quick kiss. then immediately run away yelling "that was awesome!" while she said to herself... "who was that...?"
or when this group of girls in front of us were a little intoxicated. they continued to yell when people would step on their blanket. 2 of the girls left to get something and when they came back they walked past where their friends were and stepped all over their blanket. one of their friends tried to pull them back and explain how this is where they were. yet she insisted that they had to keep walking. finally she realized that she was back to where all her friends were. she looked down and yelled... "ahhh who just stepped on the blanket again?!?!"
later that night, i look down and see a girl crawling down beside my feet, reaching out with her pointer finger trying to touch a sleeping bag that was folded up behind me. the woman who owned the sleeping bag looked down at her and asked what she was doing? after the girl touched the sleeping bag, her and her friend busted out in hysterical laughter for the next 5 minutes yelling about how she thought it was a persons ass. woman-"do you want to touch the ass?!?" girl-"hahahaha!" woman-"go ahead!" girl-"hahahahaha!" woman-"touch the ass! touch it!" 
concerts are for entertainment. but i normally find more entertainment from the crowd instead of the 'entertainment'. 

dashboard confessional. family force 5. hellogoodbye. mayday parade. say anything. the maine. 3OH!3. ben lee. the rocket summer. kill paradise. meg and dia. OAR. the starting line. the white tie affair. jack johnson. cobra starship. breathe carolina. all time low. a day to remember. angels and airwaves. forever the sickest kids. gym class heros. the academy is. the secret handshake. GLO. a rocket to the moon. attack! attack! saosin. scary kids scaring kids. we the kings. the devil wears prada. new found glory. hit the lights. senses fail. chiodos. jacks mannequin. the less. relient k. katy perry. matisyahu.

and more. all amazing in concert. all entertaining.

as for the rest of life... it's swell. just missing friends and boyfriend. but i'm looking on the positive side of things. i'm so blessed to have my sister in town! and i'm so lucky to have technology so i can keep in touch with everyone!

well ill leave the rest of this post to be said by jack.


"love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart. like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard? it's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. i'll tell you one thing, it's so much better when we're together."


L

hello, hello.

it's legit. 

i am officially alone. 

g-face left today for college. 

i am the last. 

whooo hooo. 

but, no more sulking for me! :) now is a perfect time to do lots of random stuff. for instance, last night i spent about 3 hours cleaning my car. and i'm not talking about spraying it with the hose and calling it clean. i scrubbed my car inside and out! it is spotless and i am very proud. who needs to pay to get it detailed when i can do it myself? well... after all my hard work i turned my car on to move it to a different spot... only to realize it wouldn't turn on. swell. my luck rocks. my battery died. 

my sistaaa & hayden came home last night! yayyy :) i have missed her dearly. i am very proud to say that i introduced my sis into the wonderful world of miami and the jersey shore. she watched her first episode last night. it was great. my favorite line of the night came from the wonderful snooki.

 "guys are douchebags and i hate them all. they don't know how to deal with women and i feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." hahaha love it.

yesterday i helped nee-noo move in to her room at georgia state university. yeahhh... what university? what campus? we were in downtown atl. surounded by sketch areas and all of a sudden they decided to call one of the buildings ga state? i swear. one of our friends said he was going to buy a taser. very wise if you ask me :) (nee-noo and g-face: please invest in one)

i feel like a mom to my girls. helping them all move in and checking up on them to make sure they're all doing okay. but i'm okay with being the mom :) i love you guys so much.

finally, i'm going to see mr. jack tonight :) (jack johnson). i simply cannot wait! 

xoxo

L

hello someone special.

hello fashion.

feelin' artsy lately. i miss sewing. i miss fashion.

i wish i could just spend all my time reading fashion magazines and wasting away my hours shopping... well i do that already, but i mean even more than i already do.

i used to want to go into the fashion industry. but i am too indecisive to stick to just that. i used to have dreams of my designs being in the magazines that we all read. now i'd rather be taking the pictures in the magazines. who knows what i'll do in life. i get too bored sticking to just one thing. i guess vogue will have to wait.

hello distance.

alone.

that's how i'm starting to feel. why my college begins in september...? yeahhh.. i have no clue. it sounds nice to start late, but honestly the only thing coming from it is feeling lonely. i feel like i'm constantly saying goodbye to someone. i hate it. everyone is moving forward in their life and i'm just stuck on pause... waiting. i see everyone starting up their new lives and hearing all about it and i just wish i could be going through the same thing with them. not a month later? i guess patience really is a virtue. i'm very lucky to still have 2 of my best friends still here. but then they leave this week. i guess the weirdest thing about it all is that home doesn't feel like home since everyone's gone. i miss them. i miss the way things used to be. i haven't even started my new life and i'm already missing my old one?

i think one of the weirdest things about leaving high school is not seeing your friends. yes, you see your good friends a lot. but those people you're friends with in class but never really hang out with? or the ones that you just say hi to every now and then. i miss seeing those people. the last time i saw half those people was graduation. everyone is going in a new direction. none of them are the same. in high school we all had to take required classes with mostly the same teachers and classmates. college is a whole different ball game. i miss my friends. i miss my best friends. i miss boyfriend.

they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. yes, that may be true.. but no one ever said it would be so lonely.

hello, you got mail.

may we always keep in touch...

no matter the distance...

or however long it's been...

may we always find a way to stay connected...

so that we will always stay friends...

promise to always find a way...

i know i always will...

may we always stay in touch.

hello time.

time for an update. about time, i know.

well i went to sanibel island with my family and ryan for a week. it was amazing and i enjoyed every second of it!

after i got home from the beach, i tried to shove in a million things in a few short 2 weeks. my friends and i have been hanging out a ton and i've loved every second of it. but unfortunately it all is coming to an end...

last night we all hung out at guenz's house to go swimming and chill. something we've been doing since middle school. and now it's over? yeah, we'll do it again next summer. but it'll never be the same. never. the next time all 5 of us girls will be together is december 17th.... what? NO.

i hate growing up.

i wish time could slow down.

i'm sick of crying.

britty-boo left this morning... we all went over to say goodbye. it sucks. a lot. i know i'll see her again in a few weeks. but it's the fact that i can't just drive over to her house when i need her. i can't call her up and ask what she's gonna wear when we hang out tonight. because she won't be there. i can't take ugly picture with her b.c she's not here. i hate it. guenz leaves tuesday... so i get to do this all over again? great. everyone is on a countdown. as sad as that is, it's true. only so many days till everyone is gone. and the time is just ticking away, faster and faster...

i can't even imagine what it's going to be like when i leave...

to everyone that's departing the ec... goodluck! i love you all. it's never goodbye, only see you later. may bigger and better things come your way. class of 2014.